Too Hilarious. My wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - loves to browse & leaves me with endless time to fulfill. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Wal-Mart Dear Mrs. Harris: > Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store. > We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store. > Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: > 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other peoples carts when they werent looking. > 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. > 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the womens restroom. > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time; and costing the company money. We dont have a Code 3. > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. > 6. August 14: Moved a, CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area. > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers hed invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, Why cant you people just leave me alone? EMTs were called. > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. > 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, Mission Impossible theme. > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, Madonna Look using different sizes of funnels. > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled PICK ME! PICK ME! > 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed; OH NO! ITS THOSE VOICES AGAIN! > 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? > And last, but not least: > 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, Hey! Theres no toilet paper in here. One of the clerks passed out. .... Good evening...
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 08:52:36 +0000
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