Trevor has arrived in India safe and sound. He sent me a quick message telling me that its beautiful, the food is great, its hot and he loves me. He will check in about once a week. They werent allowed to call us or have contact of any kind during the 9 day retreat before he left for India, so I was excited to get a call from him the night before he left. He shared about the trip, how tight-knit all the students had become and how much fun he was having- but the thing that truly struck me after we said our goodbyes was not what was said- but what I heard; something I hadnt realized had been missing. There was a tone in his voice, a lightness that had been missing since he was 14. Since Tim had died. Trevor sounded content, at peace and excited. He sounded happy. I lay in bed that night and I remember thinking There. There he is. This feeling is a gift and I am cherishing it. I cant tell you how incredible that feels as a mom. I remember this feeling exactly because I felt the same, overwhelming emotion when Teagan came home from the college road trip he took with Pastor Derek Nelson and told me that he needed to go to Fork Union Military Academy to become the man God wanted him to be. My kids have been through so much. Both Avery and Teagan are big personalities and live their lives out loud. When Tim died, Avery was almost 16, and her reaction to her grief was anger and explosiveness. Teagan was almost 11 and there was several years of buildup before his anger and grief erupted. Trevor is quieter. He seemed to be adjusting and handling things ok. I think he even fooled himself. What I have come to understand is that while I was busy putting out fires with the other two, Trevor was there all along, silently drowning beside me. He was on a precipice, and, losing Teagan- his brother and his best friend, sent him over. But Trevor is a fighter, a warrior- and he is choosing not to stay down. He is choosing to climb back up and find his purpose. He is honoring the memory of his father who bravely battled cancer with humor, grace, faith and courage. He is honoring the memory of his brother, who bravely battled his own grief and anger to allow his joy, his compassion, his faith, his humor and his ability to love others to shine through. He is so brave. I am so incredibly proud of Trevor for taking this leap of faith, for recognizing that he needed something else, something more, to help him become the man God intends him to be- and then doing it. Yes, this feeling is a gift and I am cherishing it. Im still struggling in my own darkness, but I am thankful for this ray of light. Thank you, all of you, for your generosity in helping with this financial burden- you are amazing and we are truly awed and humbled by friends and strangers alike. Thank you for your compassion and your words of encouragement, your prayers and your love. You have all made it so very clear that we are not alone. We are so blessed by our incredible community far and wide. Thank you. ---Laura
Posted on: Fri, 26 Sep 2014 22:52:10 +0000
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