True Story: Complaint of a Muslimah (The True Value Of A Muslimah) - Mufti Menk muftimenk An incident occurred at the time of Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wassalam). There was a woman known as Khawla bint Tha’labah (radiallahu tabarak wata a’la anha), she was married to a man known as aws ibn al-samit (radiallahu anhu), the brother of ubada ibn al-samit (radiallahu anh). What had happened to this women? She grew old, and as she grew old one day she had a little debate, dispute with her husband, who was also quite old and he looked at her and said, “You are like my mother” which means I have no interest in you anymore. After that he went out, he spent some times with his friends and so when he came back, he now wanted to have slight relations with her, he wanted to sleep with her once again. So she refused, she said, “No, you said I am like your mother, what do you mean by this?” “I am going to go to rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wassalam), everyday you’re making statements that are hurting me. I can’t bare children anymore, I was young and I spent my youth with you. I grew up with you until I got to this age, All the children that I had for you, your children!. Now that I’m old you’re passing these comments, you are disinterested” I am going to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) on this occasion and I am not going to allow you to touch me! until Allah (SWT) decides what should happen here. These statements are too heavy!” And this used to happen quite often at the time, where some people used to tell their wives that, “You are just like my Mother” What that means is I have no interest in you anymore. That is the meaning of the statement, It is known as “Ghilhar” in the Arabic language. So she went to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) and said, “Ya Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam), I am complaining to Allah (SWT) and I want to inform you of my situation. I was young, I was beautiful, I got married to Aws Ibn Al-Samit As you know he is a cousin of mine, and is my husband. Now after many years, I have had children, now I can’t bare children annd now you see how I look. I am an old lady. He is disinterested and passes comments that hurt me on a daily basis. Today he told me, ‘You are like my mother’, then he wanted to come back and touch me, I told him,”No, I am going to Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) and I want to complain to Allah on this occasion” So Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) looked at her and said, “Ya khawla, he is your husband, that is your cousin, go and make amends with him. He made a statement, it’s ok, you don’t have to stay away from him for this reason. Never mind, forgive him” And as she got up, she was satisfied because it was Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam), but she was waiting, she said… “I am complaining to Allah!” I am waiting for revelation” Immediately as she got up, Aisha (RA) says, “I was in another room, but I heard the Prophet recite verses aloud and I knew that revelation came at that moment” Indeed Allah has heard the statement of her (Khaulah bint Thalabah) that disputes with you (O Muhammad) concerning her husband (Aus bin As-Samit), and complains to Allah. And Allah hears the argument between you both. Verily, Allah is All-Hearer, All-Seer. [Quran, Surah Al-Mujadila 58:1] May Allah (SWT) grant us elevation. (Ameen). Immediately Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) read these verses, the women was called back. Moments later she was told, Subhanallah in tears she was and said: “I complained to Allah and verses came down”, Allah says, “I heard the complaint of this woman” And then Allah (SWT) continued to say, “Those who make these statements to their wives” [Quran, Surah Al-Mujadila 58:2] They should know that these statements are the most dangerous, detrimental statements, totally rejected and unacceptable by Allah (SWT). The husband should be careful of the type of statements they make to their wives, especially at that age after they lived with you for so many years, now you are showing disinterest. Allah (SWT) expressed very clearly in these verses that he rejects these types of statement from anyone. May Allah (SWT) protects us all. (Ameen). Allah (SWT) confirmed for this women that she must not let this man touch her, until he pays a compensation for having uttered the statement ‘You are like my mother’, May Allah (SWT) save us all (Ameen) So what was the compensation? The compensation was to either free a slave, its mentioned in the opening verses of that Surah, in fact its known as Surah Al-Mujadila (58): The women who came to complain. That is the meaning of Mujadila, The one who came to complain to Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam), So he (her husband) was to free a slave, so Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) told her, “O’Khawla your husband must free a slave before he touches you” She said, “Ya Rasulullah! Aws Ibn Samit, don’t you know him, he owns nothing, he doesn’t have a slave” Allah (SWT) revealed another part of the verse, if you cannot free a slave then you must fast 60 continuous days without missing one day, after then you can go back to her. So she looked at Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) and she was shocked, she said, “Ya Rasulullah! His an old man he can’t fast a single day, his paying the Fidyahs” May Allah (SWT) grant us Acceptance. (Ameen) “He can’t fast one day, how is he able to fast 60 days?” Another part of the verse came down, “Whosoever cannot fast 60 continuous days, must feed 60 poor people” She said, “Ya Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) he has nothing, he can’t feed anyone” So Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) looked at her and said, “O’Khawla, I have this amount here, take it, this will feed 30 people” She says, “I have something which I own and I will make sure I will feed another 30, we will have 60, then I will let him get back to me” Subhanallah! Two of them, Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) and Khawla solved the problem, and this man was told and it is reported that after that he was the best, the best to his wife, he always used to make sure that what he utters was always, always, pure and clean. Let me mention Umar Ibn Khattab (RA), one day was moving with an Army, his whole army after Rasulullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) time. He stopped the whole army one day, because there was an old lady, very old who just made a hand sign to Umar Ibn Khattab (RA), and he stopped the entire Army for a moment, everyone stopped. He got down from the horse or the camel he was riding and he went to speak to this old lady, He smiled at her, he nodded his head, he solved her problem and he let her carry on. She was satisfied and he got back onto his camel or horse, and some of the companions said, “Ya Amirul Mo’mineen! Today you stopped the entire army for one lady and you wanted to listen to what she’s got to say” Amirul Mo’mineen Umar Ibn Khattab (RA) turned and he stopped everyone again, and said, “Should I inform you of this lady? She is the lady whom Allah listened to, you are telling me I must not listen to her? She put her hand up like this (Waving her hand) and I had to stop and listen to what she had to say, when she came to complain, her name is, Khawla bint Tha’labah (RA). She came to Muhammad (Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam) on one occasion, she didn’t get up and walk a few steps, Jibreel (AS) came saying, ‘Allah listened to the entire complaint and here is the answer.’ I swear she can stop me as many times as she wants, I will stop her, she has a virtue over the others” Allahu Akbar, May Allah (SWT) grant us the understanding (Ameen!) These are the verses of the Quran, the power of the Quran. May Allah (SWT) really and truly grant us change in our lives for the sake of Allah (SWT), (Ameen ya Rabb!) Narrated by Mufti Menk - See more at: eaalim/download/index.php/blog/entry/true-story-complaint-of-a-muslimah-the-true-value-of-a-muslimah-mufti-menk.html?utm_content=Newsletter&utm_campaign=Eaalim&utm_source=Eaalim%20Emails&utm_term=Email&utm_medium=Email#sthash.W8mVhr4I.dpuf
Posted on: Fri, 01 Nov 2013 18:15:21 +0000