Truth is, I fell in love in hijab initially. Yes...I am a non-Muslim hijabster. But I have always been open to all religions as I am an atheist since birth. As always, I am not someone who bows down to pressure from people or easily influenced. I am quite stubborn and rebellious in a sense. Yes, Islamic teachings do attract me...and to me, undeniably, its peaceful, beautiful and teaches us women to practice self respect, and thats my understanding through my slow learning process. But I cant say the syahadah just because some people here keep reminding me that death does not wait for anyone. I want to say it with the right reasons, complete understanding and faith, not because Im afraid of death! Honestly, I do not know the precise meaning of hidayah and neither did I mention that word or that I am waiting for it in Harian Metros interview the other day. As usual, I do understand their reason of trying to spice up their news, just like how they tried to speculate that my sweet friend who gave me a scarf was a guy...when the truth is, my sweet friend is a girl. A married woman, to be precise. So you see...unless you hear it from myself and my own mouth, please stop speculating. Please stop pushing me into this and that. For example, nobody taught me to wear handsocks as part of the tutup aurat, but I did my own research quietly...nobody really cared about whats going on exactly or bothered reading what I wrote in my blog because most of the so-called pendakwah here are too busy copy and pasting al-Qurans translated verses and trying to show off your knowledge about Islam as keyboard warriors and worse, belittling me just because I am a non-Muslim trying to learn Islamic teachings and your favorite thing to ask me to do is to delete my old pictures before I started to put on hijab. Again, those are from people who only glanced at me on the surface and judged me from that instance without bothering to find out more about me, like reading my blog. If you want answers, they are there. If you want to continue judging me and bashing me around with sarcasm and mockery, its ok. The dosa is yours, not mine.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Feb 2014 04:22:54 +0000
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