Tuna. Whats that all about, eh? Whenever you go to the supermarket, theres never any tuna in oil. Its all tuna in springwater or tuna in brine. Why? Water is like in the fish naturally. People dont want the water. People dont want brine because it is full of plastic bags and foam packaging balls. People dont want springwater because it is full of springs. Anyway it is tap water. There isnt a legal definition of Springwater on cans any more than there is a definition of Forest Fruits on a carton of yogurt. So they have to put the springs in afterwards. That is what happens to your recycled ballpoint pens. Anyway people dont want water in fish. The only people who buy fish in water are mothers who are trying to buy stuff their families wont like. People take lengthy and elaborate and intricate precautions to remove the water from the fish. Some cultures are so obsessive about removing the water from the fish that they pack them in in salt for weeks on end. These very same stores that are trying to sell us tuna in springwater have hunks of fish like boards covered with crystals of glistering white. You know what I think? I think that the wholesalers force the retailers to buy their tuna in one of each at the same time. That is the only rational explanation. At some time in the past, like 1976, the factories thought that everyone wanted equal quantities of tuna in oil and tuna in brine and tuna in springwater. So now they are sitting on 1,237,956 cans of tuna in springwater and tuna in brine. So you go to your supermarket and all you can find is cans of 1976 tuna in brine and tuna in springwater and an empty slot where the good stuff ought to be. That is the only explanation that makes sense.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 00:53:08 +0000
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