UNCONDITIONAL GIVING: It took an experience when living and working in Papua New Guinea for me to truly understand what it means to give without condition. I worked as the lead person of an organization that provided small business education to rural communities in the 20 provinces of Papua New Guinea. My female understudy was a cool, confident lady who had wide circles of family and friends throughout the country. Her name was Flavia. Prior to my first return trip to BC for vacation, I asked some people, including Flavia, what they would like me to bring them when I returned. Flavia asked for any top made by Peter Nygard. That was easy. It was fun to present her with this significant-to-her gift, which she appeared to love. A week later I noticed Flavias top being proudly worn by a woman in the ANZ Bank. Huh??? I felt a low grade of annoyance. The following day I asked Flavia how she was enjoying her new top. She looked me in the eye and said she had given it to her cousin-sister, Felicity. I had to ask, why? Flavia explained that in their culture, if a close relative tells you they like something you own, the gracious thing to do is give that possession to the admirer. Initially, this felt weird, maybe even disrespectful. With reflection, I saw that it made perfect sense within the context of their customs and that the only person who felt discomfort was me. It was up to me to release Flavia of any/all expectations I had about how she would treat and/or value the gift I had given her. If it was truly a gift from me to her, it had to be unconditional and she was free to do with the garment whatever her heart said was okay.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Feb 2014 00:10:08 +0000