Unconditional love is universal, spontaneous and selfless. Such love does not exist between two people. It manifests when two merge into one. When we say I love You, the I and you generate an automatic sense of division. It might be better to affirm, I am Love or We are Love. Unconditional love is known as Agape by the Greeks. This differs from ordinary love based on attachment, such as Philia and Eros, (familial and romantic love, respectively). While attached love can also contain aspects of unconditional love, I believe the purest form of love is found in Agape. Conventional relationships form from the notion we exist as separate individuals, living within the framework of time and space. When we define and limit objects and people, we perceive everything as other--and so lose awareness of intrinsic Unity. In early years as begin to relate to a world, we are conditioned to the habit of naming and labeling things. As this habit matures, we start to classify things, and people as well. In the modern world, we are encouraged to develop our own individuality. Our parents wish us to become someone unique and special, so we tend to compete with others in order to be better than them--in order to win in life (and therefore be worthy of love). We strive to bemore, getmore, domore. Unfortunately, many people are subconsciously plagued by the perpetual idea we can never be enough, get enough, or do enough. Due to this we tend to subconsciously seek to gain something from situations and persons we encounter. Many people enter into relationships in order to fill the huge gap of longing to be whole. This desire-based motivation is the main obstacle to loving unconditionally. When we evaluate and categorize everything through the filter of past experiences, we calculate love through feelings of attraction, aversion, or indifference, and our behavior reflects this. In this process, we miss any possibility of true love. All waves consist of nothing but the ocean. Even though each individual is precious, the most precious aspect is we are not separate from the ocean of existence. Imagine two lamps sitting across from each other. From the ordinary point of view, they appear separate. But seen from deep within, they share the same essence where the separate rays of light meet and join. The golden glow bridges the seeming boundary of separation. The ego hankers for happiness, affection, love, praise, admiration, pleasure and power. All these are egos nourishment. But by looking for happiness from an external source, we always fail to find it. Every great sage and prophet exhorts us to look within. When we look at others solely through the lens of our external eyes, most people focus primarily on limitations. But when we look from within the heart, we can see the essence of truth shining in everyone we meet. Agape should be expressed equally towards relatives, friends and strangers alike. In the case of romantic love (Eros), magic and mystery charm the beginning stages. The partners lose themselves in each other. Egos temporarily fade into the background. As the curtain of separation drops, a glimpse of Unity is revealed and the couple revels in bliss. But then what happens? Its as if they only pressed pause on the tape deck. As long as the initial enchantment of love lasts, the pause button holds selfishness in check. But after some time, the excitement wears off. The egos develop expectations and demands of each other and endeavor to control each other. At this stage, the beauty can fade or evaporate altogether. Of course, in a good marriage the couple will work out their differences over time. This can only be accomplished when at least one partner imbibes principles of Agape like patience, tolerance, forgiveness, acceptance, endurance and compassion. Normally, interacting with other people, theres a psychological field of space born by the concept of I and other.This psychological space prevents true connection and is the soil upon which conflict sprouts and thrives. Pure love arises when distinction dies. Only when the mind is devoid of judgments can distance and division also disappear. The sense of division widens when we dwell on flaws in others, and it dissolves when we practice Agape. Love is not something you can acquire or give; it is something you become. When we become love, compassion springs forth spontaneously and manifests as loving-kindness distributed equally to all, just like both sun and rain fall everywhere alike without calculation or making preferences. This supreme ideal is a peak to strive for, and the bonds of blood or marriage should not be a precondition. Those who work in service fields, like education or medicine, are given ample opportunity to practice Agape. Each person can become aware of a myriad ways to practice this--even through small gestures such as smiling at a stranger. Like a smile, compassion can prove contagious, inspiring others to pass it along through random selfless acts of kindness.
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 14:16:46 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015