Upon seeing all these positive family photos and proud to have a sister and all that- Id like to point out that these people in my circle of family are legit hanging out mentally- as we all clearly know now- then choosing to act as if they have no idea what they themselves are trying to get across. I was told by my sister that she didnt care if I killed myself, while a week later she went to a funeral for someone who did, and cried her eyes out. All the while, trying to put on a show to insist the level of how much she cares; while literally accepting the force of mental change that induced her subconscious appreciation toward my ideas. I was referred to as a dog by my brother following up with the question of whether or not my man is/was real. Remember that words are not just words post? I dont think any of you care; I also dont think that anybody quite has the correct idea when it comes to who supports who in my family in particular. So where does my notion of real vs. fake come in? Where does my tug-of-war between following my values or following my heart come in? My heart is with my family... however it is not well received. Its a constant battle with these people on whos life is harder; who is stronger; who is smarter. This is the environment Ive chosen NOT to be a part of which does allow me to separate myself from these people. Each one of them has had the same response. And the cherry on top is my best friend leaving me hanging in the crisis center and then proceeding to refer to me as a baby. While going through an experience of me feeling alive for the first time in a long time at AT&T, certain information was exchanged improperly with each of you knowing the real situation at hand and choosing to partake in the events of my personal life that have happened over the last 7 years. Every single day I have a smile because I choose to have a smile. I am strong because Ive been weak. I am smart because Ive made poor decisions. I do not stop because life goes on. Do not make me feel bad for the life Ive chosen; the quicker some of you admit who youve learned from the better off youll be. There is a level of misunderstanding that has grown out of control. And words spoken by those who speak love rather than live it. Those being the people that Ive cared about most in my life. When all is said and done, please do not question my methods. Please do not question who I am or why I am the way that I am. If you judge my book by my physical appearance, youd think I was some perfect little angel whos had life handed to her. Which is what happened within two major corporations; the stories I have you folks would not believe. Truly. UNbelievable. And to those that will choose to judge on my exchange of information, look inside yourself and ask yourself how big a part Facebook plays in our lives... it IS a primary form of communication, especially to those who may not always know how to speak how they feel. And I deeply feel this information needs to be communicated. I was in a Behavioral Health Unit as of April 1, 2013. Following a sequence of events that were outside of my control by essentially allowing my heart to be to big. That person being put on blast nationally? That was me. Being made fun of on a national level to manipulate my thinking one way or another. If there is ONE person, ONE SINGLE PERSON, that I have done wrong to... Put me on blast right now. Show me. Tell me what it is that I had such an effect on? Because all Ive ever known is how to live in love.
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 01:03:57 +0000