Using the tools in our tool belt: On the way to school today, it was especially quiet in the car. Then I heard Sam say, Mom, I used a tool from my tool belt this morning. At first I didnt know what he was talking about. When I asked him what he meant, he said When you said I couldnt wear those black shoes, I was really mad. So, I came to the car where it was quiet so I could calm down and be in control of my choices. I used a tool. Huge smiles this morning. Times like this are so affirming as mothers...reminders that we really ARE making a difference. The words and lessons we share with our kids ARE sinking in. The past few weeks Ive used the analogy of tools in a tool belt to fix things when it comes to helping Sam make better choices and take control of his actions/words that stem from strong emotions. Some of his tools: 1. Go to a quiet place to calm down. 2. Take a deep breath and count to 10 when he gets angry. 3. Ask friends and family for space. 4. Use his words in a way where others can hear him (sharing his words with respect instead of throwing his words at others. Its not always what we say but HOW we say it.) 5. Express emotions and fears. 6. Focus on the many things that make him happy rather than the one or two things making him unhappy. 7. Try to let things go when you arent getting what you want by focusing on something else you like to do. The Oh well, maybe later. tool. Tools fix things. They help us accomplish a task and work towards something constructive rather than destructive. This analogy isnt just helpful for my kids...its helpful for me. We all have tools. We have the tools to respond and act in the ways that compliment how we want our life to be. If I think of all the tools I use in my tool belt that are unique to me, Id say many of them are similar to the tools Ive been helping Sam use. I truly understand this little guy with his box full of strong emotions and quirks (fear, anger, worry, frustration, getting overwhelmed easily, wanting to be in control, a little obsessive...).... Parenting him has most definitely helped me grow into a stronger person. Helping him work through his fears and emotions has meant having to do the same for myself. So, yes, kids, use your tools in life! Mom will her hers too!
Posted on: Wed, 22 Oct 2014 17:11:46 +0000
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