VERY LONG BUT WELL WORTH READING IT. I SOO RECOGNIZE MY PLIGHT WITH HERS. THIS WOMAN WENT THROUGH PRETTY MUCH WHAT I WENT THROUGH. I DONT KNOW HOW I DID EITHER. IT GOES TO PROVE THAT THE GOOD LORD JESUS IS INDEED ALIVE AND POWERFUL. =========================================== Alone and the ex-wife - 52 I would like to tell my story that others might be warned. I am 52 years old and have been alone for 23 years. I never thought this would be my lot in life. It never crossed my mind that my husband would ever leave me. I made many mistakes in my relationship with my husband. Today, I see and hear young wives, and older wives as well, thoughtlessly making those very same mistakes with their own husbands. They take for granted that he would never leave them and file for divorce. This sense of security seems to give them the feeling that they have the liberty to take their stand, in myriad ways, against the wrongs, failures, and inadequacies of their husbands. I see it as either ignorance or a refusal to obey Gods injunction to wives, or a combination of both. This is why I write my story -- to open the truths to the wives who are truly ignorant, and to warn the resistant wives. I cannot answer for my husbands responsibility and duties. That is between him and God. But if I had known then what I do now about Gods commands to wives, i.e., what a man needs and what I could do to fill those needs, it would have made a big difference. The things I did or failed to do were not every day, constantly overt, in-the-face actions. They were subtle, ebbing and flowing, but there, nonetheless. • When my husband acted selfishly at home, allowed his temper to flare, and sometimes said curse words, and then went to church and acted spiritual, I wish I had prayed positively for him instead of withdrawing a little emotionally from him and letting my cynicism and lack of confidence in him be so manifest. I wish I had openly showed love and acceptance of him for himself, not impatiently waited until he acted right. • When he failed the children, failed to have devotions, failed to be spiritual, failed to lead as he should, I wish I had completely trusted God and maintained unity, honor, reverence, and submission with a glad and trusting heart. I wish I had kept the children honoring him and praying for their dad instead of allowing my martyred attitude to manifest itself so openly. • When he made a statement about someone or something, I wish I had not always put his opinion down, letting him know he was wrong -- again. • When he acted like a jerk, I wish I had remained quiet and prayed for him, loved him anyway instead of letting him know what I thought about him and his actions. • When he tried to make up to me for some failure, I wish I had not been so cool, waiting for him to suffer a little more and be more intense and sincere about his apology. • When he spent money I thought we didnt have, I wish I had remained quiet and trusted God. I wish I had shown continued confidence in him, regardless of his decisions. • When he wanted me to do something, and I didnt want to do it, I wish I had cheerfully complied instead of making him sorry he asked. Hardheadedness is not a trait to endear any woman to a man. • When he needed a woman to believe in him, admire him, approve of him, accept him, regardless of his failures, I wish now that I had been the one to give him those things. • When I thought that keeping his faults before him -- just small things he did and said -- and keeping myself a little standoffish in my approval of him, was the only way he would change, I wish someone would have taken me aside and told me how badly mistaken I was to think that it was my place to apply and keep the pressure on. • When he didnt speak up enough in a business deal or with friends, I wish I had kept quiet and not interjected my help in the matter. • When we were in the company of his family and our friends, I wish I had not taken on a martyred air when he left to go off and do something on his own. • When he did not know how to show love, and I felt a void emotionally, I wish I had borne all things and hoped all things, and love him unconditionally, instead of giving up inside and turning to friends and family for my emotional support and needs. I never saw the need to endear myself to him. I took for granted that he would fulfill the husbands moral obligation to love me. I wish I had gone to Gods Beauty School for the whole woman. Time passed. The marriage strangled to death from the load of mistakes, sin and selfishness on the part of both of us. One day, to my shock and surprise, he just left. The children and I were plunged into near poverty. He no longer felt the natural desire to protect and support his family. I received the minimum child support. It was never enough. When the house and the car needed repairs, there was little or no money to have the work done. Things slowly fell apart. People would help, but no one quite knows what to do with broken families. I dreaded the summertime. As I drove away to work in the mornings, I agonized over my children having to stay in the house behind locked doors for 10 hours a day when I couldnt afford a babysitter or find someone trustworthy. They were too old for child care centers and still too young to be left all day. At the beginning, when my children were sick, there was no one to stay with them unless I took off from work. Then the week long flu would hit, and my time off work would mean my job. I had no real job training, so I started off in entry level positions that hardly paid. I became ill with a long term, debilitating condition, made worse by stress, but had to continue to go to work every day. I had no choice. But, God was faithful to us, and we never went hungry or cold. Loneliness at home, the feelings of rejection and abandonment, and the financial struggles, however, were there every day, year after year. I know my life could have been so very different if early in my marriage I had known of and obeyed Gods plan for the wife. Some of you dont believe that this could happen to you. In fact, you may well be thinking that it would be a relief if you could get him out of the house. You think, Well, Im healthy and strong. Im emotionally secure. I can handle it. I am pretty and will find a good man. I have family who will help me. I have a good church to support me, and could get counseling, etc. At least I would have peace in the house and could then live as I wanted to. I wouldnt have all the problems to contend with. These are all things that foolish wives may think. But I know better. My experience, as well as thousands of others, proves this outlook to be a lie.
Posted on: Sun, 02 Nov 2014 01:24:39 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015