*WARNING TO HUSBANDS*- This post is a eulogy to/for my Wife (as she celebrates her birthday today), it is not meant for you to read, digest, and assimilate then use is as a smack on your Wife. If you-Husband- do the dishes, cooking, cleaning, house chores etc while your Wife watches the Oprah Winfrey show, as long as both of you are very happy that way, then stick to it. Don’t ask your Wife to start “copycatting” mine. *wink* *wink* Washing machine, Microwave (cooker/oven), Vacuum cleaner etc these are devices that –for a very long period- were not in use in our Home (some, we have are still in the carton, not opened). That is, for a long period into our marriage, my Wife does all the washing, she does all the cooking, clean all the dishes, sweep “all” the floor (yes; all the floor hahahaha). In summary, she is the C in C at Home. All she wants from me is to mark “present ma” at home, spending quality time with her, watching Arsenal play or any other soccer match etc. When she wants me to work hard, she ask me to stay in the kitchen, chatting with her as she does what she’s very good at-cooking. Now, I look at the trend by today’s woman, and I’m baffled. She tells you –“my Husband must cook for us, even if it’s thrice in a week, it’s romantic” “ehn, I am not his slave, he should do the dishes, after all I cooked the meals”. “I didn’t go to school all these years to end up as a chef for him” etc.The way they would say it ehnn…. You would think they are the first to go schooling in Africa. My Wife graduated with a grade far above class average, among the top percentile of her class and with a better grade than mine. She is concluding her Masters soon, while I struggled to finish that B.Engr. sef lolz. However, her paper qualifications haven’t affected or hinder her home-front duties in any way. She does almost everything. Remember that woman in Proverbs 31:10-31? If you have not met her, you are welcome to our home –for an autograph. Several times (while am away at work) she’s done the bread-winning duty without complain. At one time or the other, She has taken charge of almost all the duties a Husband and Wife (combined) would do, yet, she hardly grumble. I remember the few times I would try to do some little “pot things”, but she’s always quick to chase me out of there, saying “don’t bother, just go and watch the T.V, will serve your meal when it’s ready”. Some weeks ago, she took a careful look at me and said “oh, you are not looking so fresh, maybe it’s because I am not around to cook you fresh meals”. Till today, she does most of my meals FRESH. As in, she hardly serves me refrigerated food or microwaved meals. Talking about microwaved meals, I can’t remember any at all. She always does it fresh. No microwave oven at our house sef, so how we go use am? She has a job too, and her schedule is very tight. As an African man it’s typical to complain about so many things not done properly (in the house) irrespective of how hard she works, but the way my Wife carries all these responsibilities in an unruffled manner , marvels me. Whenever I think of her, I often remember that movie called Superman. In reality, superman is fictional but to me superwoman seems to be the best analogy for a woman that handles the Home in such exceptional manner. Few months ago, I was at home (on vacation) and it was school period. So I told my Wife to go to work, and allow our daughter stay with me at home – we got a lot of catching up to do. Our Mummy went to work, while Daddy and Daughter continued the sleeping competition. Chimamanda -our daughter, 3+ years old- woke up first and said something like “Daddy ……… prayers”. Can’t remember the exact words she said, but I knew She meant “it’s time for morning prayers”. I struggled to lift up myself from the bed a little, and we prayed. Immediately we concluded the final part of prayers and “AMEN”, I hit the bed again for round two while Amanda went to the sitting room to play. Amanda came in and said “Daddy stand up, let’s go and play ball… let’s play toy”. For where? I didn’t answer her o (pls manage my Nigeria English abeg). She went playing (in the sitting room) again, then came back and said “Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyyy stand up”. I did not respond I was enjoying vacation sleep. Then she said “Daddy, after Prayers my Mummy always stand up from the bed”. Kai! This blow was enough to drag me out of bed. Then we played ball and all, and it was time for bathing. We got into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and was about to bathe her. Then she took a look at the toilet seat and said “Daddy, my mummy always cover it” aghhh. Okay, I brought down the seat and covered it. That’s Lesson number 2 for the day. Then time for the real bathing. I pour water on her body, and was rubbing soap on her, delaying (a bit) to pick up the sponge; then she said “Daddy, my mummy always use sponge to bath me”. Tooh. In other words I had to take lessons from Amanda, taught by Mummy, impressive lessons which indicate that MUMMY IS WORKING. Can’t describe enough how wonderful she is, but she’s so loving that she deals with my excesses like very few women would do to their husbands. There are times we’ve had disagreement so much that could lead to a break up, but she wouldn’t let that set us back totally. I also remember when we’ve had issues and one or two people say to me “ehen, sebi we told you then and you said she’s the one you would marry”; but when I’m alone, thinking deep in quiet times, I often ask myself –“if you had the chance to marry again and again, would you marry her?” and my answer had always been “YES”. I don’t regret marrying her, and I pray the Lord Jesus would continue to keep our Home in Love at all times Amen. I’ve heard many people talk about marriage and how it’s like prison (for them), but I thank God ours’ is not in any way near or close to imprisonment. Talking about quarrels, in fact, we quarrel very often. As am making this piece, we are still fighting sef lolz. There’s no way two people would co-habit and not have differences, but those differences shouldn’t be “I will kill you today, or you must kill me today”. Today’s couples break up on flimsy issues, they tell you “irreconcilable differences”. I wonder what is “irreconcilable”. Even Christian marriages are breaking up and we wonder if these marriages are really Christian. The word of God says – “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”- Romans 5:8. “ That is how God demonstrates His own Love for us while we were sinners, how do we demonstrate our own love for our Wife/Husband ? how come he/she that was your “knight in shining armour” “ the apple of your eyes” etc now becomes “the only thorn in your flesh”? Why not reflect on the good old days, and let that overshadow, mend, and repair the wobbling new days. Lean on God to lead you in this tough, tasking, challenging, but interesting and lovely journey. Let God rule in your house/home, and Love would reign in your family. NOW, TO THE BONE OF MY BONES AND THE FLESH OF MY FLESH: Sweetie, you are a Blessing to me and borrowing words from Anthony Kolos and Crystal Jansen, I say HAPPY BIRTHDAY my darling. My love, I have tried with all my being to grasp a woman (and wife) comparable to you, but none seems worthy; I know now why Shakespeare could not compare his love to a summer’s day. It would be a crime to denounce the beauty of such a creature as thee, to simply cast away the precision God had placed in forging you. I love the way you make me so happy, And the ways you show you care. I love the way you say, I Love You, And the way youre always there. I love the way you touch me, Always sending chills down my spine. I love that you are with me, And I am glad that God gave me you and gave you me. May GOD continue to Bless You in all you do, in every area of your Life, with long Life , unending Joy and happiness in Jesus name AMEN I also appreciate all those women (in my Life) that at one time or the other, taken very good care of me like a typical African Woman would do to a typical African man, not clinging to their beautiful qualifications. My sister, Law Graduate and Banker Xtiana Medupin, American-Schooled Big Sister Sylvia Omotoso , Banker sis Judith Ronke Faji Aderibigbe, Canadian tutored, Pharmacist Joyce Adegbite Big sis & Accountant Julie Olajumoke Faji, American tutored Sis, Foluke Afolayan , my Mum-Mrs Josephine Medupin…. former School Principal…Her’s-my mum- is too much, with all her qualifications , anytime I visit her (till date) she doesnt want me to touch anything. To the aso ibora (cover cloth) I use, she supervises all. The cooking, watches me as I eat, attentive to what I drink (do you want juice, water... I have a bottle of wine.. you care for a bottle of malt) etc arghhhh , over-pampering. I am a baby when am with her, always a baby. I wonder when she would see me as a Husband&Daddy and no longer that small baby she carried on her back. As attractive as these ladies schooling is/are, and captivating their qualifications is, when it’s time to care for a man, they do it excellently not like all these long-eye-browed (or Eye lashes, whichever) ladies we have all over the streets these days. They finish JSS 3, drop out of school and ask guys to polish their nails. I pity single guys of nowadays lolz. Dont even talk about majority of those university-certificate-carriers, they are something else. But one thing I found out, the higher their quality in school is grades/degrees .. or exposed to international studies, the better home builders they are i.e like my sisters and mum (Okonjos, Ezekwesilis etc) Husbands, remember, if it makes you happy, makes your home happier, please polish her nails oh.
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 02:52:29 +0000
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