WARNING! This post is gonna get WORDY -- but I dont care! It is important for me to share (PLUS, I really need it to be printed in my next My Social Book)! 5 years ago today I filed for divorce to end my 17-year marriage to my boys Dad, Steve Reny. I did our entire divorce myself and it cost us a hundred bucks (or whatever the filing fee was at the time). There were no lawyers; no negotiating; no thousands of dollars spent fighting; no try-to-stick-it-to-each-other nonsense. Was there sadness? Sure. Was there anger? Heck, yeah. The months leading up to the divorce were BEYOND difficult but it was the right decision for both of us. We did it with as much grace as possible given the fact that we had children, a home we had built together, etc. 60 days later when we went to our uncontested divorce hearing, we sat together at a table waiting for the Judge. The bailiff made Steve move to the OTHER table in the courtroom saying that we couldn’t sit together. I said, “But, it’s okay. We get along just fine.” The bailiff laughed and said “I’ve seen these tables overturned by some people divorcing. He’s got to move.” After the Judge reviewed our proposed Settlement Agreement, she signed the Order and before dismissing us told us, “I want to commend you both. You are not the typical parents I see in my courtroom. You should both be proud of yourselves today. Your children are very lucky.” That was a powerful statement that I will never forget. Five years later and we are the BEST co-parents we can be today. I am pretty hard on myself as a human being – but one of the few things I know I have done right is stand together with Steve for our children and as genuine friends. We are still a four-pack in many respects – Steve, me, Andrew & Alexander. We vacation together, celebrate birthdays and holidays together, make decisions together and we provide for our boys emotionally, physically and financially -- together. Heck, Steve has even lived with me and the boys several times in the past few years (okay, that doesn’t need to happen anymore though – he snores and eats too much and I am really OVER washing his boxer shorts-- LOL!). But, I’m feeling grateful today for my co-parent and friend. He helps with the boys SO MUCH and I don’t know how I would do it without him. Plus, he’s always around to install my air conditioners, fix my car, put stuff together for me, bring me coffee and pizza, etc. Our children are bright, engaged, funny, loving, kind and MOST importantly – HAPPY! DIVORCE ENDS A MARRIAGE; IT DOES NOT END A FAMILY! At least, it didn’t end ours. Thank you, Lord God. Thank you for teaching me about forgiveness and boundaries and unconditional love. Without you Father, it could have gone a whole different direction. Thank you for truly teaching me about grace. Stephen, you have given me way too many grey hairs over the past five years but, at the end of the day, you have always been the ONE thing I needed you to be -- a great Daddy to our boys. Oh, how they positively ADORE you! These years have been eventful to say the least and I think we both have proven repeatedly that we can always count on each other as friends and family. That is a blessing that I will absolutely never take for granted. I love you! PS – I’m ready for a new car. Please find me one. PPS – LAY OFF ME, I’M STARVING! PPPS -- Chiz.
Posted on: Tue, 18 Nov 2014 23:58:40 +0000
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