WELLNESS WEDNESDAY On Conversations: Participate, Do Not monopolize By Valary Mumbo Once in a while it’s good to remind ourselves... Conversation is an integral part of everyday life; from the moment you wake up to when you go back to bed. Chances are that you will speak to an average of 15 people;therefore, it is important to master the art of being a good conversationalist. What are the benefits? It will help you communicate with your friends and colleagues better, be a welcome guest at parties, networking will be something you do with ease and strangers will become friends on the supermarket queue. However, being a relatively wide topic, I’d like to concentrate on the participation aspect for today. In conversation, the roles of listener and speaker are traded between the participants, it should never be treated as a monologue or a speech; there is a time and place for those, but neither should one be mute the entire time. Participating means finding the middle ground between being too talkative and awfully quiet, and this is a skill that can, with effort and practice be acquired. Listening is vital, Ernest Hemmingway once said: “I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.” As much as you’d like to be heard, do not spend the time after your last statement plotting the next one; other than being rude, you are at a risk of missing out on what you may learn from another person’s views. If one goes on and on about themselves, or what they are interested in, even though they do this unintentionally, people tend to lose interest and write the person off as self-absorbed; this can be a terrible first impression to give. Learn to take turns and do not interrupt, whatever you have to say will be just as important at the end of the other person’s statement. For those who monopolize the role of the listener, it is good to listen but being an active audience would also be highly appreciated. If you think someone’s idea is good, go ahead and tell them, and if there is positive criticism aimed at improving the idea, it might be just what is needed to move that idea from good to great. Give more than one-word answers, if the person asked you a question, they must be genuinely interested in your opinion and I am sure it goes beyond yes, no and, I don’t know. If you are shy, break out of that shell, practice conversation with a family member or a close friend, and go to an occasion armed with topics ready; you’re bound to meet very interesting people who may turn out to be indispensable networks. Learning to be a master conversationalist is one thing I believe to be a lifelong process; as there is a lot to be learnt on the subject and practice to be done daily. The basic rule is, be natural; talk about things you are comfortable discussing and use words you are comfortable with. Have a lovely day filled with good conversation!
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 04:00:00 +0000
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