WHAT IS MORE IMPORTANT, PERSONALITY OR CHARACTER? Many people in life suffer from the effects of failed marriages, failed friendships or relationships and they always seem to ask the same questions. Why did my relationship fail when our Personalities were so compatible? What went wrong? What did I do wrong? Perhaps the first mistake they made was to believe in the idea that two people with compatible personalities can have an agreeable, harmonious, frictionless, relationship. In fact, two people with compatible personalities could find after marriage that they are most disagreeable, disharmonious, disunited, and incompatible. To understand why I say this, you need to read on further and you will learn something important that will be a blessing to you and it will help you make better choices and decisions concerning who you let into your life. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We often think that a couple with similar Personalities, passions and interests will be happy because they like to enjoy doing the same things together. So why would this relationship not work if it is based on Personality compatibility? In studying what the bible says on this subject, I discovered an amazing truth, which almost everyone overlooks. What makes two people compatible for a good relationship goes beyond just having a good Personality. However, you will have to read the rest of this article to understand why. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. The First mistake People make in choosing a new relationship is this: Everyone looks for someone who has a very nice Personality. Now do not get me wrong. Having a good Personality is very important, but it is not what we should first look for when choosing a new friendship or relationship with someone. Why? One of the easiest things to do in life is to read another persons Personality. Everyone is an expert at doing this. However, the biggest mistake that everyone makes is this: They assume that if your Personality is good or bad then your Character must also be either good or bad. For example, when two people who are attracted to each other meet, they quickly start to form judgments about each other based on that persons personality traits. The judgments, which they form, are whether that person has the right qualities needed for an important friendship, or a serious relationship. The judgments, which they make, are based on that persons Personality, and that is where they go wrong. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember this: Just because someone has a good Personality that does not necessarily, mean that, they have good values or Character. Not understanding this point is one of the major reasons why so many relationships are dysfunctional today because when choosing someone to have a serious relationship, people allow that persons nice Personality to influence their opinions and feelings. That is the worst mistake they could make. They should choose whom they have a relationship with or marry based on that persons good Character, and not on their nice, fun Personality. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the difference between Character and Personality? In the dictionary, they are defined as the same thing. But in the Bible they are not defined as the same thing. I prefer to believe the bible. If you study the bible, you will learn that Personality and Character are not the same thing. Judas who betrayed Jesus had a nice Personality which he showed the other disciples and everyone else, but he also had a bad character which he demonstrated when he betrayed Jesus. The Bible also defines Christian Character in Galatians 5:22-23 as exhibiting the Fruits of the Spirit. It reads in the bible as follows But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. God says these are the values, the traits of a good Character and everyone should know this. Everyone has the choice to accept or reject living with good Character traits as explained in the bible. Therefore, if someones does not exhibit these values in their daily life, then you know that according to the bible, they do not have good Character and if they fun to be with, then they only fun to be with because they have a fun Personality and nothing more. - Character is having either good or bad values. - Character is a persons true soul, the real person, not the mask. - Character is the action you take to carry out the (values, ethics) and morals that you believe in. - Character is the Consistency between what you say you will do, and what you actually do. - Character is the Putting the ethics into action. - Character is what defines, builds, or breaks your REPUTATION. - Character is the Moral strength. It takes moral courage to do what is right when it may cost more than you are willing to pay. - Character is the Who you are and what you do when no one is looking. - Character says, What is wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it, and what is Right is still right, even if no one else is doing it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Character is not reflected by what we say, or even by what we intend, it is a reflection of what we do. It is a test of proper behavior in determining what is right and wrong. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.) What is a Personality? Think of Personality this way. * Personality is the mask that everyone shows to other people. * Personality is also the master of disguise in manipulating feelings and opinions that other people have towards you. * Personality is the set of emotional qualities each person shows in front of other people. It is the way you behave and act when you know that people are watching you. * Most people like to show attractive qualities such as energy, friendliness, and humor in order to make people like that. * Most people like to act interesting or pleasant to be with, so that everyone will think they have a super personality. * Personality embraces a persons moods, attitudes, opinions, motivations, and style of thinking, perceiving, speaking, and acting when people are watching you. * Personality includes whether you are someone who is friendly and likes being with and talking to other people. * Personality also includes other traits such as a sense of humor, energetic, optimistic, adventurous, funny and confident. When someone has all these traits, most people would think that they have a nice Personality. That is INCORRECT. If someone has a nice Personality that does not mean that they have a good Character. Many people who have nice Personalities also have very bad Characters. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An example of this would be someone who can be everyone’s best friend. They have a good Personality. When they are in front of everyone, they are humorous, outgoing, and fun to be with. Yet, when they are alone they take the mask off and they become a different person because they have a bad Character. They are not very honest and faithful. They are not kind and compassionate. And if they know that they can get away with cheating, then they will cheat. This is an example of a nice Personality hidden in a bad character. They do not have good Character values but they have a nice Personality. Politicians are the perfect example. They tend to exude a personality that is outgoing, friendly, gregarious, honorable, and intelligent. Their character, however, tends to show up after the election when we really see that they are underhanded, willing to be bribed, will cheat on their spouse, frequently stupid and self-centered. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Someone may have a boring personality. They may not be outgoing. They may be shy. They may not talk much. They may not be talented. They may not be intelligent. However, despite all this, they have a beautiful Character because they honest and faithful and they always do the right thing. Living with good values and honesty and treating others well is very important to them. Now you understand why assuming if someone has a nice Personality then they have good values, or if they have a boring Personality, then they have a bad Character, is WRONG. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Without Character, a persons Personality is a hollow, empty shell. A facial Mask of illusions. A different face for each friend. A face that leaves behind a trail of broken promises, broken-hearts and broken dreams. A liar that betrays not only them self but also betrays everyone who ever loved them. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So how do you get to know a persons true Character? There are several ways to do this. *** When we are making decisions about who to let into our lives, getting to know a persons Character is much more important than getting to know their Personality. Personality can be faked but Character cannot. **** Character is one’s soul, the real you, while Personality is the Mask that people show everyone. It is not a true indicator of who they are. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1.) When people tell you about themselves and their behavior—for instance, admitting to having a quick temper—listen and also listen to your inner voice when it warns you! Observe how that person handles stressful situations. Character usually shows itself in the way people handle stressful situations. Many people fail to notice or they simply ignore the red flags, or warning signs. If you see one, it is supposed to stop you in your tracks. Unfortunately, most of us refuse to stop when it comes to romantic love. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2.) When love has you in its grasp, no flag or warning from a friend will stop you from going full speed ahead. Even if you suspect that opening your heart may result in getting it broken, you will do it anyway because the lure of love is so powerful. Thinking that you will change a person once you are in a relationship is, unfortunately, mere fantasy. People do improve, but only if they want to. Relying on someone to come to his or her senses is not a good bet. You are better off dating longer and seeing how someone chooses to grow rather than wishing and hoping, or trying to force someone to make the changes that you desire. The rule of thumb here is not to be engaged for at least six months, and to wait another year before getting married. It will be worth it. If you do not think so, just ask someone you know who is in the process of a breakup. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.) Ask Questions. If you do not ask enough questions, you may find yourself wondering how you got yourself into such a mess and how to get out of it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4.) Finding the right person to love is something to take very seriously. Relationships do not just work themselves out; you have to work on them. When you think you have found someone worth sharing the rest of your life with, you should do your homework before settling down. It is very important that you understand their core belief system. Do they believe in god? What values does their lifestyle reflect? Look for actions and not words. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5.) We actually need to observe people in character-challenging situations in order to know their true character. For example, if we observe someone lie easily, we can be reasonably certain from even just one instance that they have done so in the past and will do so again in the future. Unless a person is dedicated to living according to the word of God, when dealing with unbelievers, The best predictor of their future behavior is their past Behavior. This is because the beliefs that drive us to do things like lie easily, or tell the truth, are present in us at all times. They may remain dormant until circumstances stir them up. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6.) Remember the Bible defines Christian character in Galatians 5:22-23 as exhibiting the Fruits of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. These are the values, the traits of a good Character. So if you do not see these values in someones life, even if they have a fun personality, then you know that they do not have a good Character. Listen to your inner voice. Remember Character is a persons true soul, the real person, not the mask called Personality. Everyone is capable of becoming better and they are the ones responsible for actions that express (or could express) their character. The morally correct thing to do is reflect the character of the God. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *** Remember that those who take their time generally end up with better relationships, less chaos, more love to share, and a stronger commitment. This is the most important step that you will ever take. You need to do everything you can to ensure that you do not stumble and fall. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the beginning, I said Personality is the mask that people wear when they show themselves to everyone. Often people show this mask because they know that their true character is so ugly that they cannot live without a mask. They pretend to be someone that they are not and unfortunately, people marry and have children with such people only to find out that they married a monster. ======================================= Therefore, teach yourself to be selective about whom you allow to enter into your life. Get to know their Character first and not just their fun Personality. Do not allow your life to be ruined by someone who has a fun personality with a character of bad values and a special face for each friend. Remember that in your life, you will meet many people with nice personalities but very few will have good characters. Outgoing Personalities will always come and go in and out of your life. Do not worry because they only intended to stay just a few years in your life or until they found someone else who has a much more fun Personality then yours. However, when you choose to let someone into your life with a good godly Character, then you better believe that they will be committed to you until the end of time. They will treat you with dignity, respect, and the fruits of the Holy Spirit, which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. ======================================= Your Character is a part of your soul. Your Character is the real you, so when you have good character it brings inner peace to your soul. So, choose your relationship and friendships based on good Character values and not a fun Personality. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you are going through a bad relationship or have come out of a bad relationship this message will help you make sense of it all. If you need words of encouragement in getting through the pain and if you need to know how to make better choices and decisions in future, concerning who you invite into life, please remember this message and it will help you. A relationship, which has its roots in Character, is always long lasting, but a relationship which has its roots in a nice Personality will never last. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Always be obedient to the word, and have faith. Trust and pray to God for guidance in everything that you do so that god may protect you and guide you from making bad choices and the wrong decisions. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for visiting my Inspirational page. Feel free to write your comments and I pray that you will be blessed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted on: Fri, 18 Oct 2013 03:37:59 +0000