WHEN I FELL IN LOVE I fell in love with his tenderness. His gentle caress, and sweet speech. The way he lifted me off my feet with our first kiss—and so many more after. He was the only one with whom I ever allowed to truly carry me. Ahh finally, I felt safe enough, in his presence, to be vulnerable and honest. My soul was re-membering. With his freeing love he loosened the layers built around my heart. I actually giggled with him. Oh I usually take myself so seriously, and he entered with playfulness, adventure, spontaneity. He lived beautifully in the present moment—it’s just who he is. Praying while digging dirt in the garden, hanging clothes on the line, baking for his latest sweet spot craving. He breathed in the color and touch of creation all around us. He’s a geek for birds, hugs trees, feels up moss, and climbs rocks. I loved how he loved the earth and her beauty, and how he opened up to her every day with curiosity and gratitude. I too began to see Her anew, through his holy eyes. When the relationship ended, I ached because I wanted to always feel like this. Always. To feel so safe, so free, so me. How could I be losing this intense, enlivening feeling in my body-mind-soul? In my grieving, I went to the woods to spend time with him. It was there among the trees and birds and moss and rocks that his intimate presence was most palpable to me. I kept returning day after day, week after week, talking and weeping and stopping in my tracks, gasping for breath and answers. Eventually, I realized . . . what began as a place to be with him became a place to be with me. I didn’t lose anything, for it was already within me. And that’s where I began to newly awaken. These feelings of tenderness and vulnerability, of trust and beauty, of playfulness and affection, and of curiosity and reverence for all creation were already within me. He was my mirror, shining back my buried Feminine Divine presence. Falling in love with him, I fell in love with my whole self. Sister-friend, hat’s your soulmate breakup shining back to you? Reach out for a 30-minute coaching consult here: elizabethjkeller/find-your-true-love/apply-now/
Posted on: Wed, 06 Nov 2013 21:13:26 +0000
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