Walking down this vague endless path, only to sprint in a forest of familiar trails tripping over my overgrown lies, untamed guilt, and the remnants of a faith I lost long ago. Falling ever so deep from the eyes of my father into the tears of those I have neglected, cutting deeper into the lives Ive effected each time I fall. I can see the stream. A goal to reach and wash away the ignorance of my decisions and cleanse myself of these thoughts I keep inside. A serene place in my conscience to mend my wounds and start again. As I stand on the bank with my hopes and intentions gleaming like the sun through the canopy of trees, I can feel and see my wounds bloodied. I ache for the happiness of those I love and for myself. My fresh wounds do not discouraged me, but as I look around I get the uncanny feeling of familiarity with this trickling spring. The feeling that somehow I have been here before, and for some reason will see it again. As I look into the waters reflection... I can see the scars that inevitably consume me. The pain I have caused and trust I have broken time and time and time again, so many scars, some of which can be mended with time and maturity, but its the scars that no one can see that defers me. The scars that no one can understand, the ones that keep reopening over and over again in my head. I see and endless purgatory of falling into darkness consisting of my own analytical mind, not being able to see the obscurities ahead inevitably crashing into them breaking my emotions and thoughts and motivation into the same shambles I have been in for so long. Destroying the hope and progress I have built up. As I sink into the dark side of my mind, though lonely, its the only place I can find peace. At times I just want to escape this world. I want to lay out under the stars, alone, inevitably consumed by the overwhelming fact that no matter my pain, my happiness, nor my love or loss... The concept of life in itself.. is undoubtedly... Meaningless. - Adam Hamm 2/6/13
Posted on: Fri, 28 Nov 2014 03:30:48 +0000
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