Walter Trout update Via Marie Trout: 3 mins · Omaha, NE · My cell phone rang at 6AM this morning. A quick look confirmed it was from the hospital. I felt a careful sense of optimism as I grabbed for the phone and expected to hear: “We have a liver for Walter!” But my phone froze. I couldn’t pick up the call. The phone was unresponsive. So after a few fumbling and tired attempts to answer it, I realized I had missed the call. And then the voicemail came in: “This is Doctor K.J. We are having some trouble waking Walter up; he is unresponsive, so we thought we would let you know.” No new liver call this time. The confused and tired state of mind that Walter had been in yesterday had worsened. Now he was unconscious. I spent the day at his bedside without making contact with him. He is deep in a place and I couldn’t reach him. Today was the first day for tears for me in a long time. Seeing him there, but without being able to sense him, was painful. The doctors are not too worried about it. They say that this is par for the course, and the good news is that Walter is now first on the list. They assured me that the encephalopathy will reverse once a new liver goes in. They tried various other approaches to see if we could get Walter conscious – but they were unsuccessful. His vital signs remain good; he moves and has good muscle strength. His brain has not been deprived of oxygen at any point. They did a CT scan to make sure that all looked good upstairs – and it did. One very experienced and trusted doctor said that he had seen patient reverse completely after months in this state once the liver transplant took place. Because Walter is not conscious, I decided that I don’t want to leave him here without anyone to be his advocate this weekend. Since he cannot speak for himself, I cannot leave him alone. So I called our travel agent and cancelled my flight to go see our middle son play his final show at the High School music program. That hurt too. I called both of our sons who I am now not going to see tomorrow, and had a good talk with them. They understood. I know they were disappointed too. This disease is making it impossible to plan anything. In February I had a trip planned to go see our oldest son in Denmark and be with my mom for her birthday. Had to cancel. We had to cancel the tour I had booked for Walter and the band for 2014. The ripple effects of this disease touch so many more people than just Walter and I. Our sons, my mom, the band, our crew, fans, friends, promoters, agents, record label, publicists, you reading this right now… I feel the pain, the disappointment, and the sorrow. There is no way of sugarcoating that. I feel for the people who are affected by this. Most of all I feel for Walter who is struggling to stay alive in a body that is polluted. And such is life sometimes, without any easy solutions; without any quick fixes. Life can be complex, full of riddles, full of heart ache, pain and incomprehensible twists and turns. Things don’t always go the way we want. And then just writing all of this, I also know that because things are difficult now, they won’t always be. While Walter is unresponsive right now, he won’t always be. Because I feel sad now, I won’t always be. Because our kids are disappointed now, they won’t always be. This too shall pass. I deliberately avoid the “what if” scenarios that could be constructed by an anxious mind. I go by what the most likely outcome of all of this is going to be: A new liver for Walter. It is not in the sadness, the disappointment, and the sorrow that I would lose my fighter spirit. However, I know that if I allowed my mind to go on unsolicited trips into worry-land, I would quickly drain every last bit of hope and strength out of my being. So every time I feel my mind wanting to spin its worst-case scenarios – I stop it. I only deal with the known – and leave the unknowns to the universe. Who knows what happens next? I continue to do all I can. And I will deal with it as it comes. I remain at Walter’s side to help him in every way I can. I tell my sons that I love them… so very much. I stay on top of business decisions as needed. I send thankful thoughts of gratitude to all of you who care to read these words. I continue my walk whether it rains, pours or shines. One step at a time! Boldly and with determination! - See more at: youcaring/medical-fundraiser/walter-trout-needs-a-new-liver-you-can-help-/151911#sthash.WB5yEVp8.dpuf
Posted on: Fri, 02 May 2014 02:26:28 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015