Warning- this post is emotional. My heart is raw. I need to vent. - TopicsExpress



          

Warning- this post is emotional. My heart is raw. I need to vent. Read at your own risk. Yesterday I lost my herd queen, and the queen of my heart, Joyful Hearts Lily of the Valley. Besides being my best milker and favorite goat, Lily was also my first show doe, and my first milker. Strong willed and determined, she would even set herself up in the ring. In June, she won her class at a show and then took her first Reserve. In the moments that followed she held her head higher and walked with a new swagger that led me to know that she knew she had done something magnificent in that ring. She was such a character, my beautiful diva. She was just appraised six weeks ago and received a VEEV 89 from an appraiser that Ive been told is a very tough one. I heard him say that he really liked her over and over. When he checked her udder texture he told me she was going to be a very special doe when she matured and he hoped to see her again then. Lily had been on milk test and in just four tests she had already produced enough BF and protein to earn stars for both categories, and by this month would have exceeded the qualification for milk volume as well as she was still milking 2-2.25 pounds in the morning and another 1.75 to 2 pounds every night, at five months into lactation. She had already produced 530 pounds milk by her 4th month in lactation. She would have been a 6 generation star winning milker had she continued the program. Lily was the first mama here this spring when she kidded with the most beautiful quad bucks Ive ever seen. Her kids and my other sr. doe Adelaide are taking turns standing by the gate calling for her again today. This is heartbreaking to watch. They were all restless and wouldnt go in the barn last night on their own. Preferring to stand at the fence instead. That has not happened before. They love that barn. Her loss is devastating to all of us. Even my usually stoic retired law enforcement husband had a tear in his eye when he saw our girl. The ten days that passed as she fought hard to recover contained several moments that have touched me and I will never forget. Lily spent most of the last week in the house so I could care for her all the time. She enjoyed standing with her head in my lap as I scratched her ears and sang to her. I had a special song for her. She loved to hear it and even when she wasnt feeling too good she would perk up as I sang it. She would follow me around the house and enjoyed sitting by my feet as I made dinner. She liked to nibble on my pant leg to get a hug or scratch. She was shameless like that. Lily amazed me when she potty trained herself in a few days. She had trouble regulating her temperature as she fought whatever toxin it was that she was fighting and it blew my mind that she did not hate the bath tub and shower. Her favorite treat was a quartered baby carrot or blueberries and cranberries. She would make a funny face to get one. Lily got more hugs, nose kisses, neck scratches and back rubs this week than ahe had all year long. She deserved my best. I tried always to give it to her. For days Id begged her not to leave me and she dutifully soldiered on. (Selfish I know) Yesterday morning it became clear that she was losing her battle and suffering unnecessarily. I owed her more than that. In her final moments I told her it was time for her to go be with her son Tigger. I prayed that she be freed from her body and released from her pain. I promised her that Id take good care of her boys, and I told her how much I love her and then she quietly faded away in my arms. Lilyhama, my angel, may you rest in peace my big beautiful girl. I will always love you and miss you dearly.
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 20:22:40 +0000

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