Warning, some definite language stuff below, because I have to get this point out. So, a few weeks ago, I called myself out on casual chauvinism, which continues to be something I am working on about myself. Today, as I was swimming, my mind drifted to another area of behavior that I feel I need to work on as well. Naturally, as I observe this about myself, I also share it out with all of you in the hopes that at least a handful will note their own behaviors and give a second thought to the inadvertent harm they might cause. I imagine theres probably a more appropriate term for this, but I am calling it casual gay bashing. In my particular case, its that ridiculous tendency towards male-bonding where we make jokes about doing gay things or being (male) gay or just in the butt joking that is meant to be Harr harr, we pick on each other because we love each other crap. You know, things like - Dude, youre so gay. You know you want me. Imma do you in da butt with a warhammer, make you mah beeotch, dude. Youre such a girly man! Where are your balls? Crap like that, and more, and worse. I am not saying that every meeting I have with my closest friends will suddenly become especially PC; when you are with those you trust, and who trust you, and you all know where you really stand on matters of tolerance and equality and inclusiveness, letting loose with perverse humor is ... what it is. Not really defending it, but I am marking a line where I am choosing to make changes. My problem - the thing I am calling myself out on - is using this kind of humor in broader company, where I am with folks who do not have such reasons to trust that about me. Or who I simply dont have that level of bonding or even familiarity with. I am saying this kind of shit in front of fans who are becoming friends, but who are being exposed to this stupid fratboy crap from me when I have no idea whether they might be gay, straight, bi, or whatever. It doesnt really matter - I am saying offensive things that belittle a human beings way of being, and that can be really hurtful, especially when you dont know each other particular well. So for any of you whove heard crap like this spew out of my mouth and have been offended (but likely too nice, too tolerant due to repeat offense, or too conflict averse to say anything about it), I am sincerely sorry. I wont cop out on being a product of my upbringing, because I have the capacity to learn, to grow, to change. I am trying. Please feel free to call me on this crap if you catch me at it in the future. For those for whom this isnt an issue, thanks for being my friend and understanding I never mean actual harm or belittlement. We ought to all take a good look though, right? What does it say about us that we think teasing each other about being gay is somehow an insult? Cmon, I know we have better, more legitimate things to say that are actual insults, right?
Posted on: Tue, 23 Sep 2014 23:01:32 +0000
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