We are ‘damned if we do or damned if we don’t’ respond to - TopicsExpress

We are ‘damned if we do or damned if we don’t’ respond to the many negative allegations that this Narcissist has waged against us to some of the very closet people in our lives. The Narcissist will distort everything using familiarity (from knowing our innermost secrets) with vicious lies about you to protect themselves from exposure and instill fear into us. Once a narcissist sees that you have caught on to them they will focus on destroying you. They will stop at nothing to prove that you are the source of the collapse of this relationship, a liar, loser, abusive, the person having affairs, etc., and basically the person who deserves all the blame. Along the same lines trying to explain your side of the story to people will make you just seem crazy because our stories are incredulous! You will only feel invalidated and frustrated trying to tell the truth over and over again and hearing those dismissing comments to just move on because time heals all! When this abuse reaches the point that you have been abandoned or ‘you’ have left this Narcissist the truth will be very disabling and will tear at the very core of your spirit or being. Again add to this that the Narcissist is well aware that you may retaliate, so he/she was been planning their departure many months prior to it happening and they have been doing damage control by secretly devaluing you to most anyone that will listen! You are overloaded with emotions, and all of the lies that were spread about you by the Narcissist and it is too overwhelming and DEBILITATING! EVENTUALLY the truth will always come out, but you can’t force awareness of that truth until it happens and people will see the true pattern AND then it will work against the Narcissist. Liars have to have great memories to keep their lies straight and Narcissists always operate in a hit and run manner and get caught up in their distorted stories and they can never keep all of their lies straight – mine most certainly couldn’t! I wish I could say that you can speak openly with the truth as you know it and that will fix all of this immediately, BUT it doesn’t work that way. You have to concentrate on your recovery and let the rest fall in place – YOU ARE FIRST in this equation. Once you are healthy you can speak with the very truth of your abuse in mind where it is necessary.

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