We are now closed for Christmas! This morning I spent a little longer in bed, until the voice in my head repeating the list of all the jobs that need doing got too loud and snarky. Top of the list was the final (I hope) pre-Christmas trip to Tescos, and the thought of it was so un appealing that I willingly spent most of the morning bringing a never-before-seen shine to the deep-fat fryer! The supermarket was, of course, like Bedlam. The air was filled with the sound of nerves fraying, and the aisles were like something out of Gladiator. Multi-trolley pile-ups in the red mist. Among all the frenzy and over-buying there was a woman walking around with just a basket, and in the basket was just one pomegranate. She was like a piece of performance art. I came away with several packets of Christmas-tree shaped crumpets among my spoils. Festive fun for the nephews. Later, at the farm-shop, the staff and a growing queue of exasperated and frustrated fellow customers narrowly avoided being treated to my very rare, but quite spectacular screaming tantrum demonstration...It took nearly 20 minutes and the combined efforts of all the available staff walking briskly back and forth waving their arms, consulting their clipboard and tapping the computer screen to locate the pre-booked and twice confirmed turkey, while the manager-like person was on the phone trying not to look like he was trying to find an emergency last-minute body-double turkey from somewhere at ten minutes notice...I tell you, for a little while I was so full of Christmas Cheer, that no-one could get within ten feet of me! Eventually, the sneaky little bird was found hiding at the bottom of the fridge attached to a label that said it was the property of Mrs. Saunders, though it did have my phone number pressed against its ineffectual little wing. So, if youre out there somewhere, Mrs. Saunders, contemplating a Christmas dinner of fish-fingers, I apologize. But Im not sorry! When I got home, I thought I deserved a little treat. I ate all the Christmas-tree crumpets. They werent actually that much fun.
Posted on: Mon, 22 Dec 2014 23:21:06 +0000
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