We are so indirectly hypocritical at times. We find it hard to trust our friends, yet we have no concerns with ingesting a “Bacon Deluxe Burger” from Hungry Jacks that some stoned 14 year old made; made with the discharge of his saliva (and possibly ejaculate) as part of the mayonnaise condiment that makes you go “oh yumm!” Now, apart from the small community of females in Perth that would thankfully accept this secret blend, I’m sure most of you are disgusted by now. Before we go any further, let me just say: “As a previous employee of Hungry Jacks Myaree in 2004, I witnessed this bodily fluid contamination of people’s food through employees spitting, ejaculating and even smearing human faeces inside of customers burgers, which was often a DAILY occurrence.” – Daniel Pekic. Okay, so the poo-smudge burger only happened this one time never, but it was a nice touch to get you to continue reading. I had a really sweet analogy planned for this part of the status, summing up something super profound about the human condition and trust, but I just like the “spit in yo burger” bit as my fingers write on. Can you believe this shit actually happens? I mean, it’s highly likely you have enjoyed some teenager’s acne-flavoured drool for dinner (or cheat day for all us fitness fags out there). What makes no sense to me is how I have enjoyed burgers since then, countless times on the way home at 3am, drunk, through a drive through, in a taxi. The chances of a teen and/or immigrant working on their weekend at 3am for $7.60 an hour and being in a pissed off mood are rather high I would assume? Sorry, I forgot overtime; $11.40 an hour, that’s better [BaLeN$]. The chances of them pressing “The Spit Button” as I used to call it are super high in this instance. If you think someone making pocket change over their weekend is going to give your happy, drunken ass a clean burger every time, think again…
Posted on: Thu, 27 Nov 2014 08:08:03 +0000
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