We frequently get questions about when its time to call it quits on a PTSD marriage, or when its time to consider a separation. Those are very personal questions that there is often not a quick answer for, and we cant decide for you. Our stance generally here is that any marriage and family that can be saved, should be saved.... However, we live in the real world of PTSD/TBI and we know that thats just not always possible. Under MOST circumstances, you arent going to hear us encourage you to stay if your spouse is cheating (exceptions of course being that the cheating spouse is very remorseful and wants to stop that behavior right away and work to re-grow trust). Also, you are usually going to hear us encourage you to leave (at least temporary separation) if you or your children are being physically abused. PLEASE NOTE that we consider that there is a difference between fully conscious physical abuse, and someone accidentally getting hit by a Vet while they are in the middle of a flashback or bad nightmare and dont know what they are doing.... In our experience, they are NOT the same thing. We err on the side of safety first and take the stance that, theres a lot more hope of being able to work things out from a temporary separate residence while the Vet gets help, than there is if things go too far AGAIN and the Vet winds up in jail for domestic violence.... not cool. Lastly, please remember that none of us here are therapists, so we speak from our experiences, and those of the many people we have seen make progress, or lose the battle to save their marriage, and we can only do the best we can. ~Michele Smith
Posted on: Sat, 19 Apr 2014 19:47:12 +0000
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