We received a story from a follower, who like most Transgender folk, understand too well Leelahs struggle and wished to share a poem they wrote with you all which was inspired by Leelah: I just turned twenty years old. I grew up in an extremely Conservative Christian household. My father died when I was 14, and at his funeral I met my gay uncle for the first time. It was then that I was introduced to the LGBT community. At first, I didnt understand. And then I started to wonder. I grew up very sheltered, and it took me a long time before I started to recognize my own crushes. I developed my first crush, of at least crush that I was aware of, at age 16. My crush was a girl, and I was devastated. I didnt know what to do. I spent a year crying myself to sleep every night, because my school and my family taught that I would go to hell, and there was nothing so could do. At the end of that year, my crush graduated, and i thought everything would be okay. Then when I started college, I almost immediately developed a huge crush on a girl from my orientation group. I was confused, lost, and alone. She was so nice to me, and it made me feel awful. I felt I was betraying her by liking her. I opened up to my orientation leader about all that was going on, and she brought me to the schools counseling center. Unfortunately, it didnt help much. I attend a Christian college, and I was pleasantly shocked to find that the counselors did not think I was committing a sin. The problem was, they just kept telling me to be more positive and to be happier. They couldnt really help. I began to get depressed, and I started to self harm. The counselors knew, but didnt really do anything. Residence Life found out, and I was told that if I ever self harmed again, I would have to leave the dormitory, which for me would have meant going back to my Conservative and somewhat abusive home. This past year, while I was home for Christmas, my family began to talk about how Christmas just isnt the same anymore. Its not Christian anymore. And neither is the U.S., because it is now allowing gay marriages. They said that there are some sins that are never forgiven, and being gay is one of them. Then, while we were at Starbucks, my grandmother saw a person getting into their car. She turned to me and said, is that a guy or a girl? Its sad when you cant tell. Why do people want to look like both genders? Its just not natural. They need to act they way God created them. Then she proceeded to ask me if we had any of those weird people at my school. After years of mental, emotional, and physical abuse at the hands of my family, I kept quiet. I didnt tell her that my neighbors and friends at school are gender queer. I didnt tell her that her own granddaughter loves girls. I just silently and mentally wept in the backseat, and my heart went out to the person my grandmother was speaking of. All of these experiences have caused me to be very torn up about the death of Leelah Alcorn. Ive been there. Ive longed to die. And, if Im going to hell like they all say, why not go ahead and do it? So I took my own experiences, and what I knew of Leelahs, and wrote this poem: She couldnt take it anymore, So she walked right out the door. And she walked along the roads floor, Because she couldnt handle a second more. And she walked by the roads side, Thinking it would all be better once she had died. And the emotions swam through her body faster than a sonic boom, The fear, sadness, and regret, And for a moment she wanted to turn around, to go home. But then she remembered, that place, it wasnt home anymore. She remembered the teasing, the bullies, and their hatred. And she knew that it had to be done. And so she stopped by the quiet, dark roadside. And she listened, and she waited. She heard it coming, Knew it was her moment. She took One step forward, and closed her eyes. Through the darkness she journeyed, longing to be at the Fathers side. And in one blink of an eye, she went quietly into Deaths open, waiting arms. Death embraced her, and she saw light. She heard the whispers of angels, the ones who would understand, and they reached Out to grab her hand. She looked back, and she saw the life that had been hers. And she shook her head in disgust. She saw the years of hate, confusion, and sadness. She saw the friends, even family walk away. She saw a hurting child alone, with not a friend to call her own. The angels wiped her tears, and then spoke a voice more powerful than any shed known. It said, Welcome home, my daughter. Here there is no hate, and you shall feel my love ever more. The arms made only of love Reached out, pulling her in. And she shut her eyes, and the peace in. The world woke, and most shook their heads. They didnt want to know, didnt want their children exposed. The parents, they mourned, their son lost forevermore. But her community, those strangers that understood more than any other, They wept for their young sister lost. They bowed their heads, in mourning and prayer, and they lit their candles, while the tears poured down their faces. And they made a vow, that one day it would end, The hate that took lives, All because we had sinned. I would like to state that I do not believe the last line is true. It is only a reflection of what many people think of us. Thanks for your time!
Posted on: Sat, 10 Jan 2015 23:28:00 +0000
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