We should all Pursue Mentors “You just need to get over yourself and move on.” While these words were sharp and painful at the moment, they were exactly what I needed to hear. It was a season where I was wallowing in my own self-pity and coming to a deeper understanding of my sinfulness. With the tendency to feel the need to pay for my own sin, I was not capable of pointing myself to Jesus; I needed someone who has gone before me to walk beside me and guide me. I needed someone to shoot it to me straight, someone who was not afraid to tell me things I didn’t want to hear but loved me enough to be honest and point me to the grace Jesus had given me. In essence, I needed a mentor. But this mentor wasn’t someone that had been calling me. He didn’t know what I was going through and he wasn’t sitting around all day doing nothing. He was a busy man in ministry that had many people clamoring for his attention. But I recognized my need, and instead of waiting for myself to get in bad enough shape for others to notice, I took the initiative and pursued him to help. Whether it be in the case of personal need or of leadership need, those that have gone before us have an immense amount of wisdom that can go potentially untapped because young leaders (myself included in this group) do not take the initiative in developing meaningful mentoring relationships. We Aren’t As Smart As We Think Sometimes we think we don’t need them. In our arrogance, we think we really know what to do and have no need for them. But, as someone who has thought this, I’ve discovered it’s foolishness. I don’t care how many books you have read by the latest and greatest author or how well you are able to communicate a yet unproven philosophy, we are not as smart as we think. I’ve seen a naive arrogance among us young leaders to think we have it figured out better than the previous generation. Yes, we may be able to communicate conceptual ideas and have a knowledge unique perspective in our culture, but we do not have the wisdom in applying these truths to a situation that mentors will have the ability to push us towards. We are desperately in need of those who are more mature yet we blind ourselves thinking they have nothing to offer. There have been times that I thought I had it figured out. I thought the leader(s) in my life were missing it and were too focused on the wrong things. As time progressed and I matured, I started to see the wisdom in their actions. The Spirit has allowed me to repent and ask forgiveness of my previous leaders because, rather than trying to understand, I was believing I had it all figured out. Look at what Proverbs says: Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12) A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. (Proverbs 18:2) It is in this very vein that Peter is speaking in 1 Peter 5:5: “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” (emphasis added) In essence, this is a matter of humility. Peter (as well as James in James 4:6) suggests that all of us (especially those who are younger) have the tendency to drift towards pride rather than humility. It takes humility to be able to recognize your own deficiencies and pursue wisdom through mentoring. It takes humility to recognize the strengths and weaknesses of our personalities and ask others for help. It’s humble to be able to say we aren’t that smart. At the end of the day, it is through this humility that we will receive and recognize this portion of God’s grace towards us. They’re not as Busy As We Think Sometimes we think they’re too busy for us. To be honest with you, potential mentors are extremely busy. The amount of people wanting their time is something we can’t comprehend. However, every leader worth being mentored under is willing to take the time to mentor. They have the desire and eagerly long to see their work leave a great legacy in the upcoming generation. It almost seems they are at conflict within themselves to not just do the work themselves but to hand it off. So in this way we need to serve them as they serve us: do whatever it takes and pursue. It may seem counterintuitive, but our pursuit will reveal our willingness to be led and capability to lead. Your ability to acknowledge your shortcomings and seek wisdom is a vital trait that I believe is absolutely essential for leaders. We may think that they should just notice us. I mean, don’t they recognized our “great” abilities? Once again we see pride rearing its ugly face. They may see some great potential within us, but their busyness or our perceived arrogance will deter them. It’s in our pursuit that we reveal our true desire, not just our emotion. It’s easy to say that we want mentoring. But, if it is something you truly desire, what are you doing about it? Our pursuit of mentors will require us to reorient our lives and sacrifice to learn. This last year, my family felt the Spirit leading us to leave our ministry position of 5 years and to take a learning posture as a church-planting resident. I have been greatly impacted by Jeff Vanderstelt and the team of Soma Tacoma from a distance, and we felt it was this leadership that the Spirit was drawing us towards. But it wasn’t easy. While the move was not a long distance, it was drastic nonetheless. I took a 50% pay cut, took a “normal” job at a restaurant (actually 3 at one time) working long hours for little money while my wife was at home on bed rest with our second baby. In essence our lives were flipped completely upside down in order to pursue this mentoring. This pursuit is not a one-time thing, it is a consistent pursuit. For me, that requires taking the initiative in setting up meetings, waking up before sunrise to take him to the airport or staying up past sunset to join him in coaching clusters. It means using one of my days off to join the staff leadership team to be immersed in their world to learn. It means not initially leading a Missional Community so I can sit under their wing and learn. Overall, it requires patience. And here’s the beauty to it, you actually learn A TON. These things I’ve done (and you may be required to do) will require a sacrifice, but it’s so worth it! I am extremely thankful to Jesus for this season of my life and believe it will pay a tremendous amount of dividends later on in my life. Is it difficult at times? Of course. But my willingness to pursue mentorship and forego other opportunities is worth it. I’ve seen many leaders forego this season of maturing to “get in the game” as quick as possible. They may even have some immediate success. But, in the long run, I believe a time of learning will result in greater impact in the marathon that is missional living. A word to my fellow young leaders: let’s get over ourselves and pursue the mentors God has placed in our lives. Don’t get frustrated when it takes time (they actually are busy) but reorient your life to do what it takes to learn from them. Be humble yet persistent in your pursuit, not because you deserve the mentoring but because you desire to gain wisdom. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Justin works in catering. He is a church planting resident at Soma Tacoma. He spends a lot of time serving his family, his church family and his missional community with his gifts and skills.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 20:50:21 +0000
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