Well I finally decided to post on here for yesterday. I was in bed with a major migraine. October 16, was a year since my momma went to heaven and all day yesterday while trying to sleep off this migraine I would dream while I slept. All I wanted was to call mom or just hear her voice and in my dreams I couldnt even remember her phone number, the harder I tried to remember her number the worse my headache became. I was so mad at myself because I just knew if I could remember her number I could call her and talk to her. I had several phone calls on my cell phone but when I looked at the phone it wasnt momma so I refused to answer it just in case she tried to call me and I sure didnt want her to get a busy signal. God this was one of the worst days of my life, all I wanted was to hear her voice. No matter how hard I tried I couldnt get through to momma. I simply refused to go to the cemetery because my momma and daddy are not in that cold ground . I just keep trying to convince myself that momma and daddy are out of town on a job and they will be home anytime or just call me. This feeling of losing my parents is the worst thing I have ever been through in my life besides losing my grandbabies. All I can do is pray that Gods grace will be sufficient and he will see me through this tough time, because I really dont want to be here if this is what life has to offer. I really need to feel the love and togetherness of what my true family use to be like. I need prayers and really dont want anyone feeling sorry for me. I just cannot get my life to continue as it should. Thank God for my( husband) Dwayne, (son) Cody , (daughter-inlaw) Kristen ,(daughters) Jana & Brittany, (nephews) Jason & Shane (their better halves) Mindy & Ashley ,( my beautiful niece) Candie , (brothers) Danny, Dewayne, Tim , my(Aunts Faye & Barbara, (Sissy) Pat Hamm (Cousins) Tammy Butler, Kiona, Angie & Tony, & Kandy Peyton.( Sister from another mother) Balinda Gray. And my WONDERFUL UNCLE FREDDIE he has been there for me all my life but has especially stepped up since my daddy passed away. Im sorry if I left anyone out , my head is still spinning and my thought process is slim to non. With momma and daddy gone I feel so alone but when I started trying to remember all of my family who have reminded me on a daily basis that Im still loved and still needed it kinda over whelmed me. I feel truly blessed, thank you to all who have helped me through this past year. I LOVE YOU ALL.
Posted on: Sat, 18 Oct 2014 03:35:33 +0000