Well My Baby, youve been on my mind a lot today. In a good way (yes, some tears too). I was sitting here thinking about your last couple of days. I remember that Sunday night of Bank Holiday weekend when I broke down and made the call to Marge (owner of the pet Rescue and Vets you went to). Marge and I both cried. I sat here at my desk for a few minutes afterwards asking myself IF Id made the right decision. I went and sat on the couch...and a few minutes later you came over and climbed up with me. It was different this time though. You werent a big kisser or anything like that. You showed your love in other ways. This night though, you climbed up on the sofa and then placed your head across my body and it landed on my heart and I sat there just holding you for 3 hrs, talking to you the entire time. I have never felt closer to you than I did that night. In hindsight, I think you knew what that phone call was about and you were giving me permission. When I think back, that Monday that I was off, yes we went out quite often...but I think you were voiding to get yourself ready. And that Mon night, you climbed up on the sofa to sleep with me. And I held you close and cuddled you. Spoke to you as well...told you what a good boy you were and how much I loved you I watched you walk home with your (dad) on the Tues...you were so tired. I could see it. And you came in and I got to hold you again, your choice. I think when the car came, you were relieved. Too bad we got a flat tire going there. Maybe not...I got to spend a bit more time with you, you see. When you left me, I fell apart. Sweetie, I am getting myself back together, slowly. Good days and bad. But what I wanted to say to you, Munchkin, is this...Thank You for being the best boy anyone could ever ask for. You were/are my world. I miss you. No one else could ever take your place. Your were unique and you were mine. Just give me a sign once in a while that youre with me..anything, anything at all.I talk to you every day and tell you what Im doing. Heck, I even hesitate before I close the door in case you want to come with me. I can still see you walking down the road, ears bouncing gently, feet perfect in symmetry, and peeing on the shops you didnt like. I told your Uncle Arthur that in your last few weeks that every time I took you to your Dads that you wanted to turn right instead of left. That you didnt want to go there. Im sorry for not listening, but I needed to work to feed you and pay for your Vet bills, of which I just got another bill....lol. I dont mind the money at all, so please, Chicken, dont worry about that. You were special. People are still asking after you and I still get choked up talking to them about what happened. Mom will be fine.... Guide me, just know that no other baby could ever possibly replace you. You were mine and I was yours...you had me from hello. Sleep tight my Angel. I always called you my angel in a size zero. God Speed Sweetie. I will always love you! Remember, I was your forever Mom.
Posted on: Sat, 07 Jun 2014 16:58:07 +0000
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