Well, after a spiritual journey into the darkness of the abyss, I have returned. I went out into the Northern Nuclear Wastes from the FoB with my Kar98K to find enlightenment. During my trip I found a shimmering mirror that I (being a fool) walked through. What I saw was horrible, a world controlled by SJWs, Tacticool BritBongs, and plenty of Slababoos. As I wandered the wastes I was sent to a SJW Gulag for being a White CIS Male and not serving in the army (despite my rank on my Field Greys, my Field Cap, and you know, the other German Army Paraphernalia I brought with from the other side) or in one of the work camps. While I was there I met another prisoner who helped me to escape where I formed the Olive Drab Resistance and using my other world military tactics we stole a planet cracker device and a space ship and left to space where we then blew up the planet infested with SJWs, Slavaboos, and Tacticool BritBongs. Not long after as we were flying around we landed on the planet Barwhon which was pretty much the bayou with more trees and we started a small colony but soon left after an invasion from a race of Crocodile Centaurs with rail guns and stuff. Then we went back to space and found some really crappy ship that was filled with some weird zombie knock off things in space and that was an interesting campaign. Then as we were travelling through space we encountered another portal which resembled the one I went through to come here. I commanded the ship to go through where I would be able to win WW2 for the Germans with my doom ship and other futuristic space weaponry but when I came through it was after World War 2 and I ended up in the skies above New Mexico in the United States where I was shot down somehow by pesky American AAA Defense near a town called Roswell where I crawled away from the wreckage and lived out in the desert until a nice couple (some Chemistry Teacher and his Tweaker Friend) found me and brought me home. It was at that point I realized the temporal rift had granted me the ability to live forever. It was at that pointed I realized the best move was to return to my Germany which had apparently been split in half. Not believing this I returned to the Berlin, and found a wall splitting Germany in half. I snuck over into East Germany which seemed like a good idea but then after realizing the NKVD would probably kill me I went back to the West. Specifically the United States of America where I changed my name to Paul Carlito and enlisted in the U.S Army and fought in Vietnam with SOG and achieved the rank of Captain it was then that I joined the CIA and did some very weird stuff with jumper cables and a telephone pole and then I ended up in Afghanistan teaching locals how to fight Soviets. It was then that I realized two things. 1) The Soviets cant use mass horde tactics and 2) The Soviets stole the designs from the STG-44. After that I went AWOL and walked back to Germany where I infiltrated the Kremlin and broke into Secretary Gorbachevs Office with a Walther P-38 and threatened to kill him if he didnt surrender to the U.S, make the Soviet Union destabilize itself, and overall turn his country into a third world cesspool. It was at that time some KGB rat came in and I engaged in a pistol fight with him before jumping out a window swearing my revenge. Afterwards I returned to Germany and saw the fall of the Berlin Wall and Communism. Later I snuck back into Gorbachevs house and told him good work and to set the stage for that one KGB Cat to take over when Gorbachev grew bored of the Soviet Union. Later on I traveled back to the U.S.S.R after I saw that the U.S.S.R was being an ass to little old Ukraine. After shaking up Putin I told him that if he didnt calm his man boobs Id return and do something irrational. When Putin kept on being a dick and those silly NATO fools wouldnt do anything I crushed the entire Russian Economy. Thats what Ive been up to, how about you? -Time Traveler/Agent/Generalfeldmarschall/Captain/Commander/Comrade/Doom Bringer of the Activist Sun Cult/Buddy Fritz
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 03:18:06 +0000
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