Well, apparently its world mental health day. The words mental health used to strike stereotypical images of people in straight jackets and thoughts of asylums into my mind. Generally, in society there seems to be an ignorant stigma and prejudice of these mentally ill people as unstable, dangerous and someone you hope you never have to engage in small talk with as you travel three floors up in a lift, but there are all kinds and degrees of mental illness. Its about time I talked about my issues Ive had this year. A lot of people view me as this all singing, all dancing machine that manages to be the happy bouncy chap that pretty much lives at sound inc and has a great time every minute of every day. My new job has brought amazing new experiences which have brought their own new pressures which have in turn brought new insights and new states of mind. Without realising, Ive been suffering from stress and anxiety since about March, probably due to my workload and how much of myself Ive poured into sound inc. This ended up in my productivity dropping, being agoraphobic and afraid of crowds, having completely irrational thoughts and states of mind, being unable to think straight cause my mind was caught in some kind of OCD loop that I just couldnt break, and eventually flourished into fully grown panic attacks that have been, to date, the most unpleasant things Ive ever experienced. These things in little 5 minute bursts can be dealt with (minus the panic attacks, 3 minutes was enough for me), but some of them have been constant. 24/7. Waking up in the morning, feeling them all day, and then going to sleep still feeling them. Sometimes for weeks at a time. On top of doing all the stuff Im meant to do on a daily basis. (Which is a lot of stuff). Before I experienced anxiety myself, I dismissed the word as feeling a little anxious or uncertain about something because I couldnt comprehend what the word meant. The tricky thing about anxiety is that once you know how it feels, you cant forget it. Youre always subconsciously aware of it possibly creeping up on you at any second and youre constantly reminded by how your guts feel. It is relentless, it is draining, it is scary, and it is very real. Clinically, this year Ive been mentally ill, but Ive also been (and still am) me, Luke Scott. A kind, caring individual who always puts others first. So the next time you hear yourself pass judgment on someone you dont know, check yourself out, and remember that everyone else you meet has their own problems going on and deserves to be treated with the same respect that youd treat any normal person. There is no such thing as normal. Just social guidelines that people are afraid to be outside of. Its time these guidelines werent a thing and society was kinder, more understanding and more inclusive. My names Luke, Ive suffered anxiety, and thats ok. If anyone else on my friends list has suffered any mental illness, thats ok too. Share your stories, trust me, it helps. Enjoy your Friday night people.
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 23:14:47 +0000
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