Well now. Today marks Marks, my husbands, 3 anniversary of celebrating his new home. Mark McDandel...... Remember this guy...Mark you were loved by so many.....so many.....This wonderful man.....who always had a kind word to say to you....remember how he made you feel as you were his best friend.....that smile....that laugh.....and that love of surfing....and friends.....He was a great father and husband....Hoping this day..... that all of you who loved and knew Mark over the years....will have a beautiful memory of him. Please feel free to share if you do.......Thank you for being a part of his beautiful celebration of life 3 years ago.......He loved all of you. Hard to comprehend the time. The time passed. The changes. 3 years since I through my husbands ashes in that vast blue sea, that holds so many memories and the same sea that my husband loved.......( And if you look at the picture of me throwing the ashes in the ocean....you will notice they look like wings.....yes....Mark....already had angel wings....How about that....beautiful)........... R.I.P. Mark the Shark. I miss you and I love you. This morning, on the beach, was a reflective morning. A morning of remembering, a morning of tears. Tears shed because I have learned in this journey through loss.......they just come....especially days like today. And it is ok. I know the importance of not staying there, but allowing yourself to go there on days like this. There is this quote that goes something like this. Reality is you will miss them forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one, you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you suffered, you will be whole again but, you will never be the same, nor should you be the same, nor would you want to. So true......I am not the same.....I was not the same that day that he went home.....I am not the same today 3 years later. But, I am happy, I am stronger, better not bitter, I am living life to the fullest, I am growing and each day......and each day is a day of grace given to us to do just that.....live.....those who have gone before us.....certainly would want us too! Life is short we will see them again, our loved ones. They are in a better place. We are the ones that need to make our temporary home a better place to live by intention of purpose and by loving others. Life here is beautiful. Life here is what you make it. Life can become better than you ever thought, if you allow it. If you have hope of love again, hope of healing, hope of a better tomorrow. I am so thankful that God put a new man in my life, Hugh had me the day he helped me hang Marks National Champion Board that was signed by his friends, watched the video of Marks celebration of life, and listened to me talk about Mark. I knew that day he was indeed a man that I wanted to date and get to know better. I said to him sorry I am sharing so much of my life with Mark with you, and he said something no man I have ever dated said to me that night....its very personal...so not sharing here....but....I knew...from that he was a very special man. Yep....he had me when he gave me a glimpse into his heart. I love you Hugh Purcell! You know the song...where have all the cowboys gone? Well, mine is the true cowboy, and hes my boyfriend! If you have faith that everything in life is not meant to harm you, to hurt you, but to grow you...... for you to learn from it......for you to change for the better because of it..... for us to give others our experience of healing through the pain....... so that we are able to support them through theirs. Some may ask in the silence of pain, loss, displacement Where God is? He speaks through that silence that echos in your heart and says.....I am here....I will always be here. Faith is a beautiful anchor to the soul. You have to trust and never give up hope for a better day.....because it comes. We are all going to suffer, we are all going to experience loss, personal, financial, relationships, and health. But, pain is temporary, loss is temporary....growth and joy is a choice.....looking beyond your circumstances is strength.......being engaged in life after trials is called living......not surviving....anyone can survive....but hope lets us live......Are you living? Are you dreaming? Are you giving and encouraging others through your experiences? Are you asking why not me....instead of why me? Sweet Strength....that name has gotten me through so much, it simply reminds me of who Jesus is, who I am, and what my purpose on earth is to do....live that name out loud.....so that I can inspire, encourage, and love others in their Sweet Strength...stories....I love you! Now everyone go LIVE OUT LOUD. GO fulfill your dreams. Go and Love your life. Go get healthy! I am you biggest fan to health and wellness.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 16:37:30 +0000
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