Well...today we finally moved into a new home. If you remember...we were moving over a month ago...but the new rental fell thru so we stayed with family until we found another one. I cant lie....i kind of enjoyed our time with family. We stayed with my nan and pop and it was kinda nice being there again. Plus Zekes parents are like 20 feet from my grandparents...and then my dad n step mom are the next block over...lol. Very cozy! But alas...Zeke works in the next town over, our Chabad is there, as well as my sister and my mom and step dad who just moved back. So...Naples it is lol. Tonights our first night in the new digs and its been bittersweet. I feel so blessed because somehow we ended up in a really nice place, without breaking our wallets. Its a very nice home and we all love it. Its surreal to think that..God willing...Shoshana will begin to walk here, Moses will begin his elementary homeschool education...and Christian will become a teen. Unfortunatly, there will not be a ninth birthday party here for our oldest daughter. She wont be dancing in the living room or singing in her bedroom...and that is painful to swallow. Today Moses squealed with glee to be in a new home..and then he turned and asked me Where is Lilly gonna sleep?? (Sigh) This is our first 3 bedroom since she has passed,the first time we will be hanging up pink in a bedroom since we said goodbye. Its beautiful....and its gutwrenching. We are...carrying on. How is that even possible? How can we wake up tomorrow morning here...like any normal family..and yet be missing such a huge part of us? Well theres no answer to that...we just do. Thats all. How do you keep going?? You..just...do....and sometimes it hurts like hell...well most of the time it does...but then theres this crazy thing that sneaks up on ya from time to time...and you find yourself feeling stronger...you see youre able to smile again even thru your grief and constant sorrow...you feel...ok...and this thing...is called life. We all live it...for them...those who have passed on. We carry on in their honor. So...heres to you my beautiful Lilly Valentine....you may not be here physically...but youre with us every step of the way. Tomorrow when we awake...we will thank God for returning us to our bodies....and then we will think of you...dancing as only you can..all around us...and we will smile. ILU.
Posted on: Sun, 13 Jul 2014 04:53:33 +0000