Well, we lost another baby. I realize that many of you are thinking this is not the place for that. I understand. But please, bear with me. This is going to be a story you want to hear. It is about Gods love for us as His children. The only reason for me sharing is because Gods love is shone mightily through our sorrow. Last Thursday we went in to see our sweet precious 9 week in utero child. We were beyond thrilled. Up to the point where we were looking at the ultrasound and with cold, dead, words, our technician says,There is no heartbeat. I think my heart stopped too. I do know that a pit rose in my stomach, left me feeling sick. Many of you who has known me for a while, knows my heart for a big family. When I was a child, fourteen was my number. As I have had children, the number has decreased slightly ;-) but still remains large. After our first miscarriage, I thought it surely wouldnt happen again. I was wrong. The pit grew larger as the day progressed and on Friday afternoon, I was so sick that I could hardly move. I was so thankful to have family around to care for my children and allow me to fully grieve the loss of our second child. I began to feel angry. I was mad at God. I was mad at myself. I felt like I was crumbling. Then God gave me a name. MAX. I was mad that He gave me a name for the baby He took from me. Reuben came home from work to find his bride sunk far beneath the sheets lying on a soaked pillow. I contemplated telling him the name. Instead, I asked what he thought about naming the baby. He said, Funny you mention that. I just asked Gracie last night if we could have named the baby, what would it be. Max, she replies. In Gracies world, this baby was a girl. Without a doubt. Reuben told her it was a boys name and she said, Yes I know. and I know the baby is a girl. Her name is Max. I knew in THAT moment, GOD IS SO GOOD and in complete control. MAX! God loves us to the MAX. He takes our sorrow and makes it His. He is with us in our deepest despair. For anyone else going through a miscarriage or have lost someone dear and precious to you or you are just going through some rough times and feel lost and alone, get in that quiet place where it is just you and God. Remember God loves us...to the MAX!
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 17:15:09 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015