Went to see my dad yesterday. Ive been a little mad with him for a few months for stupid things running through my mind. The truth is , well, he is my dad! I need him as much as he needs me!! I dropped the stupid crap on my mind, guess cause I missed him more than my the problems in my mind. I asked my God what to do several nights and days. Sometimes he want kick you in the behind to show you, sometimes he says to your heart, GO! God doesnt ever stop caring God doesnt ever stop loving God doesnt ever stop listening God doesnt ever stop healing!! Ive not read the whole Bible but a lot of it, he is the Alpha and Omega!! He created a child in a virgin woman, he told his angel his name was to be Jesus!! Worked his miracles through him!! Prayers are answered every day, u may not see it and it may not be right then, but when I pray for help in many different things, alot of times it takes time, but every second and every breath I take he is working on it!! There is an old saying Rome want built in one day. When I first started to change my life I was VERY doubtful He would help me because of my past. There is alot I have done, very bad and very wrong!! I have hurt people and ruined my life. You know in all my therapy meetings and private sessions I kept hearing ur at rock bottom. Friends, I seen death, I seen hate and I seen my family and friends in the eyes of hate!! They didnt hate me, they were concearned. I can never wash the memories of my past nor can I erase the words and memories from yall! Today I will ask, please forgive me!! I found God and turned it over to him and will NEVER go back. I have that choice today and every day. In the military 91-97 I was helpful to alot of soildiers that got depressed scared and home sick, heck I was one of them. I put my feelings to the side and helped my fellow soilders lift that chin and smile, I got a lot of article 15s (military fines) but I made one soilder continue wanting to be what he signed up for , ALL YOU CAN BE!! I have a gift from God, help the hurt. I do it and dont know where it comes from. I make people laugh and that is the greatest yhank you!! So, dont let life weigh you down, please, its just life, it can be fixed, ask God, I promise you, dont give up and do something stupid. You know, I thought like that for years, found out through a lot of pain and suffering. One day I woke up and said Hey, this is my life dieing, I have lost control of it, PLEASE HELP ME GOD!! Help came from hospitals, AA, behavorial classes, behavorial counseling and most of all when I got the courage to be in public, lots of friends and family looking up to me like I worked a miracle. I did, I beat the devil!
Posted on: Mon, 01 Sep 2014 19:49:58 +0000