What I Learned Today I woke up this morning feeling old. No aches or pains, this was more of an attitude going on in my mind. You see Ive had one of those passing the torch experiences over the weekend. This mental state raged in me all morning. At lunch today Im setting in a restaurant and at the next table is a fellow Id guess to be about eighty. Hes wearing a pair of specs with one of those straps across the back of his head that are intended to make certain that your glasses dont slide down your nose. Only this wasnt just your typical nerdy thin pieces of black elastic. This thing was thick and wide and heavy looking. It seemed to me to be more like something you could use to harness an ox to a plow. You know how old men will wear a belt and suspenders and then use them to pull their pants up to about six inches above where their belly button ought to be and keep their change in a little plastic pocket purse that when you squeeze on both ends the slit opens to expose enough change to purchase a used Buick? He had that kind of look going on big time! Im thinking to myself that at least Im not so old that I would be seen in public wearing something like that when all of the sudden I became extremely aware of the background music playing softly over the speakers for my listening pleasure and to subliminally enticing me to chew faster and clear my spot sooner. What I heard struck me! Background music when I was a kid was always forties and early fifties pop type stuff. Mostly Doris Day, Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra or the like and you couldnt walk into a retail establishment or elevator without being treated to it. It always seemed antiquated but never out of place because my entire childhood it was always there. The same way you walk into a theater and expect to see row after row of seats, youd also expect to hear Deano belting out Volare when you were at the grocery store picking out your breakfast cereal and cucumbers or Doris singing How Much is that Doggie in the Window while you were at Montgomery Ward waiting on your mother to finish ordering new living room drapes. That is simply the way it was, the way its intended to be. It took me forever to get use to hear Elton John pounding his piano to Benny and the Jets or Sammy Hagar screaming I Cant Drive 55 while I was on hold waiting to be connected to the next available customer service representative. Background music was suppose to be from my grandmothers era not bring back memories of one of my high schools dances or days in the colleges cafeteria. Well Im setting there eating a tenderloin when all of the sudden Mr. Insecurity and I are listening to Fine Young Cannibals sing She Drives Me Crazy in voices so high it would make The BeGees wince. Im no longer middle aged, in fact, I must be about 2/3s the way down lifes road, at least! Now Ive known nineteen year olds to dread their twenties and as silly as that now seems to most of us, crisis is often a very personal experience. But still, Im not ready to go back tomorrow and hear Madonna doing Im a Material Girl or Snoop Doggy Dog do much of anything. This is where I get off the trolley, please or as Ricky Nelson would have said, Stop the World and Let Me Off. What I learned today is I am as old as I feel. Today I feel like Uncle Dave Macon.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 03:20:31 +0000
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