What an amazing day…I started working real early because I went to a program called Chemoflage. It was 3 ½ hours of very helpful information from an oncology nutritionist, an oncology social worker that discussed all kinds of topics from chemo brain and what to do, depression, and lost of other helpful topics. The lady that runs the non-profit, Cookie, is a bc thriver herself. I learned so many helpful things and met some lovely ladies. Oh, before I forget, when I went to the Look Good Feel Good Program 3 weeks ago, I posted about the “mean girls” that were so nasty to me. One of them was there today…I was soooooooo happy she was on the other side of the room and I sat with really nice ladies this time. As matter of fact, one of the ladies I sat next to had her surgery the day after me at a different hospital and we are on the same chemo schedule, but she goes the day after me. She and I were the only two that were bald of the group, but I was fine with it. I don’t really think about it unless I’m having a sensitive moment. My hot flashes have been pretty rough lately, so the freedom to be bald helps a lot rather than wearing a hat or scarf. I was able to share some resources and ideas during the event that some seemed interested in. The most fun was when I could make everyone laugh…Being in a room of women fighting the same battle is very healing in itself. Being able to make jokes about my temporary reality is very therapeutic…when others laugh with me, well, as a former stand up comedienne, it doesn’t get much better than that. At the end I mentioned that I was doing art therapy tonight and was going to start hosting it in my home. I offered to open it up to others if anyone was interested. 3 women gave me their numbers for information. When I’m at chemo tomorrow I will see if anyone is interested. OK, so I leave that event and have to go to another doctor. Something else has popped up and needs to be addressed. Without going to into it because of the nature of what it is, they know what it is but not how to treat it. I need to have my oncologist look at it tomorrow and see if it needs to be biopsied. Hopefully that won’t be the case and it will just need to be seen by yet another doctor so treatment can be determined. I just don’t seem to have quite enough on my plate so Gd dropped one more thing on me… YEAH!!! It most likely isn’t anything and just needs to be removed. I will know more and update tomorrow. I’m not concerned because it won’t help and when you read about the rest of my day, well, the truth is I forgot about it until I started writing…Even now I’m fine, and I don’t mean F’ed up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional…(FINE)!!! I came home and started doing work e-mail and making some calls. The art therapist that I met at the festival 2 weekends ago came over. We went into my craft room, lit a candle and an incredible journey began. We chatted for a little while, did a meditation and started doing art. Without getting too granular as I know I can, we both drew something, spent time looking at it from different angels, and then wrote about it. After that she gave me the option to hear what she wrote as well, and I shared mine. It was VERY powerful. Then we did it again with a bigger piece of paper and this time I chose paint instead of what we previously used. I hate some major chords and we discussed it. Then we did some “empty chair” work with my inner child. I am so grateful that Gd knew this was exactly what I needed right now. Things came out that weren’t coming thru in my other therapy…The art give me a way to express myself completely differently and more importantly, to connect with my inner child since it is something we both love. Now, if you don’t believe in that stuff, you are probably having a good laugh right now. I used to be one of those people, but today know differently. I’m happy to talk to anyone about the details, but suffice to say I found out some pretty big stuff tonight and was able to create a safe and healing environment to make things safer. When we were getting towards the end of the session a fire truck showed up at my neighboor’s house. I ran down to see if they needed help with the kids if one of the parents were sick. I was told everything was fine and went back upstairs. When the ambulance showed up and brought in a stretcher, I waited to see who was being taken out. It was the Mom…Long story short, I packed coloring books and stuff for the kids and met them at the hospital. I was torn, because another friends husband had a heart attack or heart something today and I was supposed to go to the hospital to spend time with her this evening. I knew the Dad needed to be in the room with his wife, so I called my girlfriend and explained what was going on. I thought I could still get to the other hospital, but my friend was going to go home to take care of her dog and sleep. I LOVE kids, but after 2 ½ hours in the ER with a 2 and 7 yo, if I was on birth control, I think I would have taken a double dose tonight. I am grateful they love and trust me, but boy they wore me out. The grandparents were eventually called because she was going to be there for a while waiting for test results. I came home and called my friend to see how things were with her and her hubby. It’s weirdly funny that I have cancer with chemo tomorrow, and I’m having an easier time than my friends who are still waiting to find out what is going on with their loved ones. Please pray for Nick and Samira that they find out what is going on and are able to have a full and speedy recovery. I am approaching chemo with excitement that end is just around the corner, that my inner child is feeling way better than she was about what we are doing and why, that several other pieces of the puzzle are being revealed and that I have more tools thanks to Cookie who puts on the incredible seminars called Chemoflaug. I will try to type everything out I learned, along with the occupation therapy and facial stuff I still haven’t provided. I have all kinds of resources that I’ve been gathering that I will also put together. This is all valuable information depending on people’s situations. I just need to find some time to do it. I appreciate all the positive feedback from both my fb pages of the picture I posted this morning. I will try to put it on the Caring Bridge page tomorrow. Right now I need to post this and go to sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day…I have tons of office work to catch up on, get lots of information from Dr. A about my latest whatever and a list of other questions I have, and then, well, there is chemo. I have decided to spend Friday night by myself. I anticipate being very tired and just want to have a quick bite and go to sleep for as long as I want. I have friends close by in the event I need anything. I feel good about my decision. Would appreciate any positive energy or happy thoughts or prayers you can send my way for tomorrow. I walk in each treatment surrounded with love thanks to you. Hugs!!!
Posted on: Wed, 04 Jun 2014 02:31:47 +0000
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