"What are you doing right now, Stig...?" my facebook asks me. Sitting in my bed at the hospital, day 6, and I still can not really grasp the reality of what has happened to me.. And all the things that are about to happen.. The reality is I have a deadly disease and is in need of a triple bypass-surgery.. The thruth is slowly dawning on me, step by step, as I listen to the nurses and the doctors, telling me I`m not allowed to go outside, because then they can`t monitor my heartbeat. And that if I have a heartattack outside, (which is very probable) they might not be able to rescue me, because there is almost no blood flowing into my heart. It`s all clogged,, What happened? It feels as if I`m in a nightmare and is not able to wake up.. I`m trying to convince myself to wake up, but it seems I won`t listen. Am I scared...? You bet I am.. There are are still about 9-10 days untill my surgery is up. My mind is constantly racing with little or no peace of mind as I think of the ones close to me, my family and friends, people I`ve met, people I`ve cared for, mistakes I`ve made, people I`ve hurt.. All I want is to live. To love. Forgive. Tell other of my Hope. Hug. Tell my family and friends I love them with all my heart. I`m 39 years old, turning 40 in two weeks and I`ll probably spend my 40th in the hospitalbed recovering. I was lucky, you know... If my kidbrother hadn`t forced me to go to the doctor to get a checkup? I wouldn`t have lived another 6 months... GO GET A CHECKUP!!!!!! You are too valuable not to live a full life!!!! And the surgery I need to go through? It`s about a 99,4 % chance that everything will work out great. You know what? GIVE SOMEONE SOME LOVE/ GI NOEN AV DIN KJÆRLIGHET/GE NÅGON AV DIN KÄRLEK!! Lots of love Stig
Posted on: Sun, 18 Aug 2013 21:28:33 +0000
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