What do a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law really want to say to each other? Dr Guru Kistnasamy highlights the level of communication between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law. Following last week’s column by Dr Guru Kistnasamy entitled, ‘The relationship between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law, our columnist has decided to now highlight the levels of communication between the two. Things a mother-in-law wants to tell her daughter-in-law: The relationship with my son: The relationship with my son has changed, but remember that I am still his mother. You are the woman in my son’s life now, but consider that I have been there since he was born. All I ask is that you love my son unconditionally as I did and do. Accept me for who I am: I may do things differently in my home. Some of them may seem strange to you. Accept that we are different. Don’t try to change me. Try understanding my ways. Respect my age and experience: I would like to share my experiences with you without appearing to be ‘pushy’. I feel pleased when you consult me or ask my advice Talk about issues that offend you: I may not realise that I offended you. Please talk to me about it in a non-confrontational manner. Staying away, sulking or complaining to my son, only serves to distance us. Keep in touch with me: I love to hear about my son and grandchildren.Please keep me informed. Invite me occasionally to outings where I can enjoy the company of your family. Similarly, when I invite you, please prioritise and do not make excuses for your absence. Things a daughter-in-law wants to tell her mother-in-law: Accept me and treat me as your daughter: Our relationship can be so much closer if you show love, respect and be sincere. Accept that your son is married: We are a couple now. When you phone, talk to me as well. I like to be consulted when you want your son to do something for you. We don’t have to compete for his time and feelings. Praise and criticism: Acknowledge the good that I do rather than wait for an opportunity to criticise me or complain to your son about me. Praise brings out the best in me while criticism makes me withdraw from you. Daughters-in-law will be different: Accept that we come from different family backgrounds and experiences. We have different tastes, choices and opinions. Do not be offended if I disagree with you. Maintaining a positive relationship: Cultivate and maintain a good relationship with me. Talk about me in positive rather than in negative terms to family and friends. Remember that your son and I will have a good relationship if you and I get along well.
Posted on: Thu, 18 Sep 2014 14:36:43 +0000
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