What is it like to have a building excitement and growing body over nine long months? What is it like to explode in joy and ignite rejoicing all around you when your precious bundle makes their miraculous entrance into this world? What is it like to celebrate their coming arrival? What is it like to have things like baby showers, gifts and dedications? What is it like to have strangers and friends know just by looking at you that you are expecting another blessing? What is it like to feel their overwhelming excitement? What is it like to finally hold your new, perfect baby that shares your nose or your eyes? I dont know the answer to these questions. What is it like to know of a child hurting? What is it like to learn that their parents who experienced their amazing birth no longer want them? What is it like to have your heart break into a million pieces just by looking at a picture of this orphaned child? What is it like being chosen by God as the parent of this sad, grieving and confused little one? What is it like to want to take all their hurt away but know that you cant? To wish, if only, they could have been protected, wanted and loved? What is it like to be asked again and again about your new childs pain and struggles? To be reminded of their great loss during their very short time in this world? To be informed of how hard life will be for them and for you? What is it like to desire an unending love so deep it will wash over this child like an ocean? What is it like to cry when they’re not looking when they open up enough to express their past hurts? What is it like to walk with them in their grieving, in their anger and in their lack of trust? What is it like to pursue them when they push you away? What is it like to only know suffering? What is it like to see amazing redemption? What is it like to see them finally smile, laugh or play? What is it like to know there is no higher calling than committing your life to an unwavering love to this, once unlovable, little one? What is it like to adopt a child? This I know all too well. Turner will join our family in 2-3 weeks. I am not walking with a waddle and a belly but my heart is full and bursting. I wish it was all joy and excitement but my joy shares a seat with sorrow. Turner is losing so much and will be so confused. We are expectantly planning his coming arrival, nesting even. We plan on leaving to travel Friday, Feb. 7th or Feb. 14th to bring home our new son. It wont look like all the pretty posts about sweet baby showers and cute newborn pictures but it will be a growing blessing for a family just the same. Turner, with all his baggage, his hurt and his rejection is still a BLESSING! To our new son, we cannot wait to meet you!
Posted on: Mon, 27 Jan 2014 04:30:35 +0000
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