What makes you happy? Write down a list of things that make you excited, however big, small, likely or unlikely. Then work to make them occur more often. And appreciate the good things you take for granted - your childs hug or a good book. Look for moments of joy and savour them. recognize how many happen every day. Feeling good can be a way of life, not just an occasional accident. Take care of your health Eating well and getting plenty of exercise will raise your spirits. Lack of nutrients will get you down so dont skip meals or make do with junk food. Physical exercise is known to stimulate endorphins that lift depression and anxiety - so walk, swim, run or whatever you like doing best. Smile! Smiling triggers happy feelings in the brain and reduces stress. Even if you dont feel happy or confident just behave as though you do and soon you will. Find the joy in your life and youll be more attractive and nicer to be around, people will be nicer to you too - and youll smile some more! Joy is infectious but so is misery; therefore dont have anything whatever to do with people who dampen your spirits, invalidate your achievements or tell you what to think. Make the most of your resources Beware of mustabation, the belief that you must have a new relationship, a better job and a bigger house before you can be happy. Extremes of thought only set you up for failure. Remember, what you want is what youve not yet got but what you need is all around you! Dont chuck the baby out with the bathwater, work to improve things. Get positive Write down every negative thought you have over the course of a week, whether its My family dont appreciate me or I look dreadful. Negativity is a habit and we often dont realize were doing ourselves down. Under each negative thought youve written, see if you can spot an alternative way of looking at it, that isnt so negative. See if youve exaggerated the situation or overly generalized, or if you are being unnecessarily intolerant, or thinking in should and ought-to terms. Recognize all possibilities but expect success Theres a world of difference between expecting failure or rejection - so as not to be disappointed when it occurs - and recognizing it as a possibility. Its sensible to look at a situation from all angles and to have a back-up plan to fall back on if need be. People who do this will often see failure as another step on the road to eventual success; but by expecting and envisioning success, theres less likely to be a failure. You naturally move towards whatever you envision. Those who dwell on the worst case scenario, on the other hand, and give themselves worry and stress, tend to be devastated when it actually happens, even though theyve been predicting it. Assert your rights Think of things which you have a right to, e.g. I have a right to an evening out with my friends from time to time. Think of rights that every human being should have, such as, I have the right not to be bullied. Now, protect your rights with your life, and watch your integrity and self-esteem grow. Nurture your relationships Take time and trouble over your friends and your partner. Talk and laugh with them and - especially - listen and understand their points of view. Dont make being right more important than a friendship. People with a few close friends are more likely to be happy than those with many mere acquaintances. Give yourself some time For most of us, life is fast-paced. Be sure to put aside a little time every day for yourself - relax with a book, in the bath or sitting in the garden with the sun on your face. Think of some things that make you happy - worrying solves nothing. And at night time, go to bed early enough that you get enough sleep to feel your best the next day. Put things in perspective When somethings gone wrong its tempting to believe nothing will ever go right again. Put it in perspective - things go wrong sometimes, even when lifes really good. Life is for learning and without mistakes you learn very little. Notice when you exaggerate or generalize about an issue - Its unbearable ... or Everyone thinks ... - and re-phrase your thoughts more realistically. Take control Instead of feeling overwhelmed by a task, break it down into small segments that you know you can do and start on the first one. If you have lots of incomplete jobs, list them in order of priority and tackle the most important job first. This way you have a sense of achievement at each step - and youll soon find yourself getting a whole lot more accomplished. Production equals morale. Communicate If you have a problem, the thing to do is to communicate: find out the information you need to get the full picture, so that the solution becomes apparent. If youre upset, you need to communicate and say how you feel. If youve done something wrong, again you need to communicate this. Spot where youre backing off from what you then need to do or say, and as the saying goes, feel the fear and do it anyway. Youll be glad you did! Be creative Making something come to life that you have envisioned - whether a painting, a wonderful meal, a dress, an invention, a business plan - is infinitely satisfying. And youll feel pleasure every time you think of it. If you want to be happy, get active - at work, within the family and the community. You will feel happier when youre participating in an activity, whether its just playing with a child or helping organize a worthwhile event. Live for the moment Joy is often about living in the moment, being absorbed in what youre doing, not brooding on the past or guessing your future. Decide what YOU really want and then go for it. This may mean a job, a friendship or a hobby. It can take courage but its worth the risk. Then give yourself wholeheartedly to the present moment. You deserve it Self-esteem comes from demonstrated competence. Everyone has skills but not everyone uses them. So use your skills - find out what youre good at and do it. Tell yourself that you deserve all the praise that comes your way and wallow in it!
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 17:51:37 +0000
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