What to do when God doesn’t answer prayer regarding a spouse Your Question: I’ve prayed for a life partner and some of the things I prayed for actually come true. Then I realized that the person I prayed about doesnt even care or dont want to be around me. Should I keep praying or should I give up? Do you believe that God will do things like that? The person was everything I asked for and God did all the signs I asked for. This is quite a hard and painful question for various reasons: the sadness and pain of rejection, but also the question of what is God doing in your life? The Bible teaches us that marriage is a good thing (Genesis 1:31; Song of Songs; 1 Timothy 4:3-4; Hebrews 13:4). Therefore, if you desire to be married, to pray to God asking for a spouse is a good thing to do. However, we must remember that even if we ask God for something that is good (like marriage), he may not grant that gift to us now, or even ever (Romans 8:28). God is far greater and wiser than we are (Isaiah 55:8-9), and therefore though marriage is a good thing, it may not necessarily be a good thing for us, or for us at this time. So we need to trust God, that in wisdom he is ordering our lives for our good and for his glory. Having said all this though, it might be God’s will for you and the person you like to get married in the future, or it might not be. Since we do not know the future, we must be patient and trust God. Therefore, you have freedom to continue to pray that God might change the heart of the person you like, or not to pray any longer – it’s entirely up to you. In the situation described in the question, maybe you should simply seek to be a friend with them and not worry about what might happen in the future – if they are a Christian you should be friends with them anyhow since you family together in the Lord (Ephesians 3:15). Maybe, as you grow in friendship together the other person might, in time, become interested in you – but this shouldn’t be your motive for friendship. In writing so far I’ve made one assumption, that the person you like is a Christian. If they’re not this would explain (partly at least) why God hasn’t answered your prayer since Scripture forbids marriage to non-Christians (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:39). I’d also like to make a brief comment regarding signs. Sometimes Gideon’s example for “setting a fleece before the Lord” is held up as an example to us in helping us to know God’s will. However, if you read Judges 6 (especially verses 36-40) carefully, you see that Gideon’s actions are not something good – even Gideon acknowledges this when he says to God: “Do not be angry with me...” (v. 39). Gideon tests God and wants a sign because he doesn’t actually believe what God has said, cf. 6.36. And therefore, the practice of “setting a fleece before the Lord” is actually something that we should not do – it’s a bad example of trust. Trust God, rather than doubting him, like Gideon. Maybe, there’s still a question. How do I know when I’ve found the right person to marry? Ultimately, the only way we know we’ve finally found the person that God is giving us as a spouse (assuming we do get married), is when we’ve married them!
Posted on: Sun, 06 Apr 2014 19:00:00 +0000
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