Whats that Facebook friends? Youd like to hear about my morning? You asked for it. ;-) This morning I woke up exactly 2 minutes before my alarm was set to go off. I love waking up gently and quietly with no need to endure the rude clanging of the alarm. Unfortunately serenity was not in the air when I began to stir. It was something entirely different. Rather than obnoxious noise from the alarm, it was noxious fumes from the crate of a sick dog. Apparently someone ate something that REALLY disagreed with them before bed. I quickly hurried him out of the house, gagging all the way. I was halfway out the door with crate in hand when it hit me like a Mack truck that my tank top, shorts, and sandals were not appropriate attire for such a morning, but proper attire isnt in the forefront of your mind as you are suffocating. YIKES! 21 degrees! Thats when it also hit me. My water hose is frozen. No way to rinse the crate. Oh well....it will wait for me until after work. Yippee No amount of air freshener would cover the horrid smell, and looking back it was quite unfair to expect it to....but that didnt stop me from trying. Getting ready for work this morning was like training to be a deep sea diver. Big breath....hold it...hold it........Hold It......HOLD IT!!! My lungs demand, You MUST take a breath Page!, but my nose pleads with me not to, until eventual surrender to a tropical mist covered turd scented inhalation with traces of vanilla and cinnamon. Lovely. (gag) While getting ready in record time, I realized that the cold morning meant my car should be warmed. Normally, I dont lock my car but today was already a bad morning and I didnt want it to get worse by having my car stolen. My spare keys were successfully located without (much) searching and I confidently locked the car door, finished getting ready, gathered my things, and exited the house in a flash. Finally...Fresh air! Thank the Lord!! Now my nose can quit burning and my eyes will stop watering. But wait, now Im standing in the driveway holding my breakfast, a bottle of water, lunch sack, a notebook, my phone and purse. Where are my spare keys? On the entryway table where I left them before securely locking the house down and running outside. Thats where. So here I am loaded down like a pack mule in my driveway with my house and car both locked, not wearing a jacket. I place all of my bags, bottles, and phone on the hood of my toasty warm car and proceed to the backyard. Ive concluded that the best way to break into my house is through the doggie door. My dogs greet me enthusiastically, Im sorry neighbors, I hope you werent planning on sleeping in today. Their barks turn to confused head tilts and happy yips as they watched me get down on all fours and try to wedge myself through the door enough to reach the knob. Finally....Success!!! The door is unlocked! I feel triumphant as a gladiator as I pick myself up, dust myself off and turn the door knob. Gladiators probably dont scream like little girls when surprised by home alarm systems though. Sorry again neighbors. Although you really should be up by 6:30 anyway. Clothes dirty and disheveled, standing in a tropical mist, vanilla, cinnamon and turd scented hallway! After a quick change of clothes I rush out the door, spare keys in hand and a smile on my face to start the day. Bring it on Tuesday! I can take it. :-)
Posted on: Tue, 06 Jan 2015 15:37:28 +0000
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