When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic Chuck Norris doesnt call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone. There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isnt dead it is just afriad to move. Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasnt built up the courage to tell him yet. If you rate this 5 roundhouse kicks, then Chuck Norris WILL roundhouse kick Justin Biebers ass. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; thats why there are no signs of life. Some magicians can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. Chuck Norris doesnt flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding. Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isnt nearly foolish enough to attack him. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes. Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the Earth down. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live. The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into reproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories. Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together. Chuck Norris doesnt read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch. HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris filmed the making of the first camera. Dragonball Z was originally Chuck Norris Z, it was rejected because everyone died in the first episode, and couldnt be wished back. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. The police have new bullet proof vest, its a T-shirt with Chuck Norris printed on it. Chuck Norris Talks About himself in the fourth Person. 911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops in between the eye In Monopoly, you pay Chuck Norris to stay off your property. Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldnt take shit from anybody. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. When Chuck Norris looks at himself at a mirror, there is no reflection. There can only be one Chuck Norris.
Posted on: Tue, 19 Nov 2013 08:45:43 +0000
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