When I go through these episodes all I want is to be held. Hugged. Someone to tell me its ok, Im alright and that they love me anyway. Its not being codependent, its being human. 99% of my existence is me being by myself. Alone with my own thoughts and there in lay the danger. So dont call me codependent or clingy. Im just overly human lol. My frequency is just different. Empathetic to degrees of near intolerability. Its feeling everything immensely. Rather good or bad, its intense. Deeply effected by things. Although we may be forgiven for our short comings? We hold ourselves to nearly impossible standards and persistently punish ourselves even when there no longer an issue. People with BPD are the hardest on themselves. The tricky part is letting go. Because even if my worst fears are true? I cant let them cripple me. If so Ill keep repeating the mistakes of the past and I will never live a normal life, have healthy friendships and relationships. Can I just return this broken brain and exchange for a new one?
Posted on: Mon, 01 Dec 2014 04:29:06 +0000
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