When You Marry : Hopes and Scopes... When a marriage takes place there are lots of hopes pinned. The parents of the bride hope that their daughter will live like a princess. They are eager to receive great news from their daughter about life in laws. They fear that their daughter doesnt have to undergo any pain. They have seen and heard a lot of painful stories of brides returning home after being harassed or thrashed or succumbing to dowry demands. It is common to have those anxieties when such things are very commonly happening to other daughters. The bride hopes to live like a queen with all the happiness under her feet. She dreams like a fairy and hopes a soft, kind, appreciative, warm and caring husband. She has seen wives going on expensive tours and restaurants and seen them in their husbands cars and hopes a happy life. She has visited her friends and cousins who live in large apartments without their parents . Those happy appearing wives, minus their hardships, are her ideals because she thinks that they never had any hardships or problems in their lives. They live a fairy like life according to her. They are their parameters and perhaps the roots of future quarrels and dissatisfaction with married life The parents of the groom hope that their daughter in law will mix up with them like their very own daughter and give them lot of comfort. They want the same food that they are habituated. They want their son to still remain their son even after his marriage. The groom hopes that his wife will be the best life partner one can have or dream to have. He hopes her to be present during all his needs and he hopes her to be kind towards his aging parents too. He has seen and heard other wives involved in quarrels with their mother in laws. His friends have been telling him about how they are sandwiched between their mother and wives. He hopes that the story doesnt repeat in his home. He wants to give a lot to her but he may not be able to due to financial restraints. Shaitan also has hopes pinned on these families. He wants to shatter all their hopes so he gives them a negative picture. The daughter in law is incited to nag and backbite about her mom in law and she is made to think that her mom in law is among the worst and is too much fussy about her son and still pampers him and he is a mamas boy. Stories of such character assassination circulate in the girls family. The husband is so lazy and very miser. He doesnt take her out to good restaurants. He always stick to his parents while I wait for him. She notices that her friends husband is a better man and contributes a lot in domestic work. He also busy fruits and vegetables and gets gifts for her. The parents of the daughter are worried and specially some mother share with her the tricks of trade how to combat mom in law in such situation. Stories of brave daughters in laws who over powered their mom in laws stubborn nature are injected in her mind. Houses where daughters are staying separately from their mom in laws are considered to be case studies. Seeds of rebellions are sowed. Shaitan is happy. His hopes are fulfilled. The parents of the boy are disappointed by their son. He is a slave of his wife, a common title stuck on many husbands. They are made to think that they have lost their son to his wife. They cant stay along with their daughter in law who is sooo lazy that she wakes up late, cant cook food properly and gives back reply. Shaitan is relaxed. Fixing negative pictures and highlighting human weakness of daughter in law is an easy task and yields better harvest for shaitan. So he is happy and satisfied. The groom soon regrets for marrying this wife. He has seen many beautiful girls in office who wear good dresses and smells good and are in good shape. They are cheerful , charming and witty too. They never appear dull or tired or angry . How come my wife always complain and nag? tells shaitan to him repeatedly. You may be tired of patching up with your in laws, with your spouses but shaitan is never tired of undoing of the patches that you have done. He wants to tear off those patch work. So Allah says : If Shaitan tempts you, seek refuge with Allah; for He is the one Who is All Hearing, Knowing. ( Surah al Araf verse 200) Author Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala
Posted on: Thu, 17 Oct 2013 06:02:52 +0000
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