When life deals me a hand that confuses me, I try to sort through - TopicsExpress



          

When life deals me a hand that confuses me, I try to sort through the cards and figure something out of all my mess. But i now am in a hand that seems impossible to win. I am not known for giving up but it appears that is my only alternative in my situation at hand. Maybe i need to step back and let God unravel this knot Ive tied. I am totally perplexed!!!! I have been slowly resorting back to the old BO and i truly do not enjoy my transition back. I honestly wanted a different type of life this go around but i cant possibly achieve this goal. I have too many self built in destruction programs. Lately, I have implemented the countdown to self implode. Maybe my family are right when they continually insist that my only normal is behind bars and chain link fences. I know im institutionalized but i have been running from the fact that being locked up just doesnt bother me. I met a woman who i cant seem to satisfy emotionally nor financially. God knows i started this out in a black hole. But I have been slowly digging my way out of this deep abyss called life. Now i not only give up but welcome the thoughts of solitude confinement. I can only offer me and all my faults including my convict thoughts and decisions. The only bad result of that concept is a very lonely life because i deserve no comfort in the arms of a woman. To you Becky Collins Fleenor, i can only say Im sorry for the hell and torment that i have put you through. I will no longer lean on you for any more support, financially nor emotionally. I will vacate your life and leave my anguish and depression for only me to deal with. How i do that is a well known fact. I DO LOVE YOU. JUST REMEMBER THIS. BE GOOD AND I KNOW YOU WILL BE BETTER WITHOUT ME. I DAMN SURE NEED YOU MORE THAN YOU NEED ME!!! THIS IS HARD TO SAY AND DO. I will only be a phone call away if you ever need me for anything. I truly love you baby. Goodbye i guess. COUNTDOWN TO SELF IMPLODE HAS BEEN IMPLEMENTED!!!!!! T MINUS 100 AND COUNTING...........
Posted on: Sun, 24 Aug 2014 06:49:53 +0000

Trending Topics



Recently Viewed Topics




© 2015