When my son was 3 we came home from swimming and shared excitedly with a neighbour and friend that Mr 3 was swimming without floaties at swim school today - Yay !! We were celebrating 18 mnths of swimming lessons and fun time in the water. Months later when discussing competitiveness with the friend she confessed that shed tried that very afternoon to get her son (4 months older than mine) to swim without floaties too. In one afternoon ! I applaud her honesty and often think about how stressful that must have been for her son when the purpose of the exercise was just to keep up. It may sound extreme but how many of us deny who our children really are right now in order to keep up our own appearances ? How many of us secretly wished our kids were into the sport wed excelled at as a young person ? How many of us wish our child was into chess instead of skateboarding, or sport instead of chess.? How many of us yell from the sideline in a game anxious about performance.? When I remember this story I am reminded that our little people are entrusted to us to care for and nurture and not to perform for us. They have their own journeys that start where they are, with the capacities they have. Being mindful of their independence makes me a champion of their striving rather than a pressure they have to tolerate and perhaps resent. After all, what happens if their plan, following what they love and are good at, turns out to be better than mine ? I know Ken Robinson would suspect it would be ...
Posted on: Thu, 20 Mar 2014 22:08:07 +0000
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