When someone tells you that you treat them a certain way, which also makes them feel a certain way whether it be sad, unappreciated, dismissed or ignored. The last thing you want to do is to flat out deny it. By defending yourself in such a way that you dismiss or refuse to validate a persons feelings, you add more hurt on top of hurt. Sometimes a simple compromise, or a gesture of compassion and understanding will suffice. Nine times out of ten it may not even be completely directed towards you, but rather part of a culmination of things that are collectively making that person feel the way that they do. Perhaps youre the only one that they truly need to hear an Im sorry from. But by justifying your actions you are saying to that person that their feelings are not as important as your need to be right. When you refuse to stand in a place of ownership in order to protect yourself from hurt instead of preserving another person from experiencing more hurt, you become part of the problem instead of the solution. It has nothing to do with agreeing with everything that the person is saying or taking all of the responsibility. Its making sure that you are being sensitive to anothers need to be validated. Its about loving another as yourself. If it matters to them it should matter to you. The only thing that stands between people is Pride. Learning to put self aside for the sake of another is very therapeutic not only for yourself but for the person who needs healing.
Posted on: Wed, 15 Oct 2014 03:55:34 +0000
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