When we are in love with someone we always have the hope this person could be the one that we spend our lives with. Each relationship starts off with that hope and intention, which is why when it ends, it is extremely painful. The greatest thing about each relationship we have is it serves as mirror for where we need to grow. Here are 5 reasons why no relationship is a waste of time: 1. The wrong relationship prepare us for the right one: The relationships that do not stand the test of time always have a gift for us. We can look at what didnt work in this relationship and become clearer about how we want our next relationship to look. Once we have that image we have grown into a new idea about what love is and can be. 2. If a relationship didnt bring us what. we wanted it did teach us what we didnt want: Knowing what kind of treatment we dont want makes us very clear on the kinds of treatment we do want. This is a great way to develop new standards by which we want to love as we are more aware of what we will accept and what we will not. 3. We learn about our patterns: We bring our old patterns into each relationship. When we start repeating patterns that create arguments, chaos, rejection or abandonment, we can use these lessons to see what we need to change and where we need to grow. It really isnt about changing our partners because they are not responsible for the patterns we bring into our relationships. There is nothing more valuable than going into a relationship and learning how our patterns contributed to its demise. 4. Self-respect: When we are in a relationship we can either gain self respect or lose it depending upon how we allow ourselves to be treated. Relationships are the best places to learn where and how we need to respect ourselves. We learn that we do not do anyone any favors by allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of. We learn what our limits are and we act upon those limits by asserting ourselves when we have been hurt. Our relationships give us the arena to learn to act on our own behalf in an effort to step into our value. 5. Grief promotes growth: A well lived life is a well grieved life. Life is a process of beginnings and endings. Whenever a relationship ends we experience its loss. We tend to identify strongly with those we love, so when the relationship ends we have to get back to ourselves, deal with loneliness for a while and lean into those uncomfortable emotions. When we are in pain we are growing and this is what gets us more strongly identified as individuals. Each loss in our life is meant to bring us into a closer relationship with ourselves and where we need to mature, grow, love ourselves and become more confident. As we take each relationship for what it is, we will see that the learning to come from each is invaluable as a mirror to learning about ourselves. Relationships are the playground where love, self-esteem, insecurity, worth and value all get to play and help define each other.
Posted on: Tue, 02 Sep 2014 16:17:27 +0000
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