When we come home we try to fit back in society. We try the normal course. We try to get good jobs settle down and have a family and live the American Dream. The trouble is we dont fit. Plain and simple, we dont fit. The puzzle is still the same but our piece is forever changed. It will never fit the way that it does. I for one have tried to do so many normal jobs and get health insurance and benefits and think about a retirement plan someday. I couldnt do it. I could not sit inside and do something normal. It was slowly killing me. The same goes for my personal life I have never been able to be trusting and a good man to my girl. Its always cost me. I just dont fit in that puzzle it seems. Sometimes it seems like this ride will go on forever even after we get to CA that Ill never be home. This isnt the typical post but its honest and thats my pledge to you all. I know Im not alone in this way of thinking and so many of us suffer in that silent agony. We think about our future and we wonder about our legacy. What will we leave behind if theres no one to leave it to. Our friends and people who knew us will tell stories of us to their children and that might last a generation or two but it will die out. Even this ride will be forgotten, thats just the nature of things. We do tell tales of great feats but Im not Jim Bridger and neither is Raymond. We will ride and go home and fade away like dust in the wind. So what do we do? How do we change the puzzle to where our piece fits again? Thats an excellent question and for some its a good woman that makes them feel right in the world. Others its a job they got into that they can pour their soul into. I dont know what mine is so I ride from one place to the next, searching. Always searching. I will not stop searching until I find home. Home isnt a place its where your heart is happy. There are nights like this where we saddle up and we ride in the morning and we look to our horses and they bring us back to them. Crow requires my attention and presence and I give it to him. Right now Crow is my home and someday he will take me home on his back carrying me the whole way. We head to Honea Path in the morning. Im still searching so tomorrow we ride.
Posted on: Fri, 23 May 2014 02:09:19 +0000
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