When you take off your mask, and reveal your deepest secret, that has eaten you alive everyday, relieved but so uncomfortably vulnerable it takes every part of your being not to put the mask back on....not only because of the embarrassment of revealing the real you to the man you know God made for you, but because you yourself cant even look in the mirror... the mask has become you. Honestly believing and living a lie. A lie that has been your reality for years. The trust and love you have for this man, makes you want to stop wearing the mask, and finally be free from hell. The hell you didnt think youd ever escape from. And now the mask is off, your darkest secret revealed, labeled a fake, a liar and untrustworthy. Now you stand in the mirror, looking at you, with no mask, and you have no clue who you are. I sit now with no guilt, shame or embarrassment. But knowing the hardest part has not even started. To learn how to be you without even knowing who you are. Everyday is a challenge, trying to regain trust, regain health and remember the person you used to be, hoping and praying its possible to be her again someday. I never thought Id get to unmask myself. That Id die with it on, never getting to be who I really am. Without the love, patience and support of my fiance, this would have never been possible. People have came and gone, knocked a wall down, made promises, and walked out of my life. Life sucks right now, but I have faith and believe it will only get better. And its all because one person believes in me. In his eyes Im already the girl I want to be.
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 04:09:08 +0000
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